This is my blog update to make it known publically what I've been letting people know privately.
I've thought about it, I've talked about it & I've written about it.... Well now it's time for me to put up or shut up. By the end of this year at the least I will weigh under 200 pounds for the first time since I don't know when. My real goal will be to be between 180 & 190 by the end of the year.
If I'm not below 200 pounds by the end of the year though I might be thinking about it, but I won't be talking about it or writing about it anymore. Eventually a person starts to sound like a broken record repeating the same thing over & over and not doing anything about it.
I've made an ultimatum with myself to get this done by the end of the year. I can only watch myself self destruct for so long.
Since I have made the ultimatum about not talking about it if I fail, I'm going to say that I will not fail. I'm not saying what I normally say, "I don't plan on failing" or "I'm going to do my best to not fail." I'm saying I won't fail. I know I can do this & I know with perseverence I can do it.
I just got done with my first post work workout & this is only the first of many more to come. I know what has caused me to fail in the past & I will not let those things be an excuse for me failing again.
Anyways this is a brief blog but I just wanted everyone to know where I stand right now. I'm not the best of gamblers so take this betting advice with a grain of salt. I'd say put money on me completing the goal because I haven't been this determined to do anything before...
Day 1 of Putting Up or Shutting Up: COMPLETE
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Breaking Down & Rebuilding Me
My last blog detailed me getting back on the fitness wagon & taking control back in my life. Well I can safely say that I have missed the wagon.
Things haven't been going the way I planned. This past Thursday at work, I had what I'm calling a mental breakdown. The stresses that have been a part of my life both personally & professionally finally took their toll & I just had all I could take. I honestly came about 30 seconds from vocalizing the thought that was in my head which was simply... "I quit..."
Thankfully those words weren't ever stated and nothing of the sort like that happened. Some people noticed on Thursday & Friday that I wasn't doing so well, some others either didn't notice or didn't care.
Life lately is being put in perspective for me. Some of the problems I have been having, have the simplest solutions yet I can't seem to follow through with it right now. I know what my problem is, my problem is this... I'm a people pleaser, I'd rather not start an argument because I'm probably the least confrontational person in the world. I care more about others feelings then I do about my own. I'd rather not start a fight because I'd rather people just be happy and not think badly of me.
I keep a lot of things bottled up, I'd rather not bother anyone about my problems. Then sometimes I address my problems with everyone except for the person I should truly address with the problem. For the past 31 years, I've been pretty good about solving my own problems... I'm in the process now of solving my own problems once more...
I'm taking this weekend, just relaxing at my apartment and reminding myself of who I want to be. This is going to be a process, it won't be solved in one night, one weekend or even probably a week. It will take a while and I have to realize that, nothing great happens over night.
One day soon I'm going to start chasing the dream again, I'm not 100% sure what that dream is or who it will involve. I just know for now I need to just concentrate on me, my family & having the people in my life that are best for me. Just because you have 184 friends on Facebook doesn't really mean they'll be there for you if you needed them. I honestly would try & be there for everyone of them and expect nothing in return.
That is another one of my problems, my generosity... If I constantly am doubting whether people are true friends or if they're just taking advantage of my generous nature then I need to just learn it's time to say no, good bye, hope you have a great life.
A line that keeps going through my head lately is Dr Phil's famous quote of: "How's that working for you?"
Well there have definitely been some things in my life that haven't really been working for me, yet I continue to allow them to keep happening. Confrontation is a part of life & I can't continue to avoid it because bottling it all up for too long eventually leads to it exploding and destroying everything I worked so hard to build.
I will rebuild me, I will make me stronger... That that doesn't kill me will only make me stronger... Change is a part of my life & I need to really make a change in my life. I've talked the talk, now it's up to me & only me to walk the walk.
Things haven't been going the way I planned. This past Thursday at work, I had what I'm calling a mental breakdown. The stresses that have been a part of my life both personally & professionally finally took their toll & I just had all I could take. I honestly came about 30 seconds from vocalizing the thought that was in my head which was simply... "I quit..."
Thankfully those words weren't ever stated and nothing of the sort like that happened. Some people noticed on Thursday & Friday that I wasn't doing so well, some others either didn't notice or didn't care.
Life lately is being put in perspective for me. Some of the problems I have been having, have the simplest solutions yet I can't seem to follow through with it right now. I know what my problem is, my problem is this... I'm a people pleaser, I'd rather not start an argument because I'm probably the least confrontational person in the world. I care more about others feelings then I do about my own. I'd rather not start a fight because I'd rather people just be happy and not think badly of me.
I keep a lot of things bottled up, I'd rather not bother anyone about my problems. Then sometimes I address my problems with everyone except for the person I should truly address with the problem. For the past 31 years, I've been pretty good about solving my own problems... I'm in the process now of solving my own problems once more...
I'm taking this weekend, just relaxing at my apartment and reminding myself of who I want to be. This is going to be a process, it won't be solved in one night, one weekend or even probably a week. It will take a while and I have to realize that, nothing great happens over night.
One day soon I'm going to start chasing the dream again, I'm not 100% sure what that dream is or who it will involve. I just know for now I need to just concentrate on me, my family & having the people in my life that are best for me. Just because you have 184 friends on Facebook doesn't really mean they'll be there for you if you needed them. I honestly would try & be there for everyone of them and expect nothing in return.
That is another one of my problems, my generosity... If I constantly am doubting whether people are true friends or if they're just taking advantage of my generous nature then I need to just learn it's time to say no, good bye, hope you have a great life.
A line that keeps going through my head lately is Dr Phil's famous quote of: "How's that working for you?"
Well there have definitely been some things in my life that haven't really been working for me, yet I continue to allow them to keep happening. Confrontation is a part of life & I can't continue to avoid it because bottling it all up for too long eventually leads to it exploding and destroying everything I worked so hard to build.
I will rebuild me, I will make me stronger... That that doesn't kill me will only make me stronger... Change is a part of my life & I need to really make a change in my life. I've talked the talk, now it's up to me & only me to walk the walk.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
30 Days, 30 Nights
There's only so long that you can live on the glory of past accomplishments. Last year at this time I was on a journey to lose some major weight. I was able to drop about 40 pounds.
Since then I fell back on to old habits and gained some of the weight back. About 10-15 pounds I put back on over the course of the year. The funny thing was this past week some co-workers commented to me about how much weight I had lost.
It was funny in that I hadn't had anyone comment on that in awhile... The last time was when I saw my family again and they definitely noticed a big change in me. I definitely haven't felt like I did anything to lose weight in a long time though.
Well the time has come to again put up or shut up. I can't keep on living on the past glory, it's time to get back to completing that goal I started a year & a half ago.
The goal is simple to drop the rest of the weight I had been meaning to drop but I'm going to set the time frame to only 30 days.
In 30 days, my friends/co-workers Matt & Eddie are having their yearly birthday party. Last year I remember it being a special time since a lot of people noticed that I had made a big change in my life. I currently weigh about the same amount as I did last year for the birthday party last year.
So for the next 30 days I will be giving up the party life, unless it's for a legitimate reason like a best friends birthday. I'm going to layoff the sweets and the junk food and begin once again to truly realize my potential.
I write this blog so that I can be held accountable. This has been a goal that I have wanted to accomplish for a long time and it's time I put in the work to finish it. My friends watched me start this journey last year & this year I'm going to do everything in my power to complete it.
The journey won't be easy to complete but it is a necessary journey to complete...
Starting tomorrow night after work my journey begins again.... 30 days to go....
Since then I fell back on to old habits and gained some of the weight back. About 10-15 pounds I put back on over the course of the year. The funny thing was this past week some co-workers commented to me about how much weight I had lost.
It was funny in that I hadn't had anyone comment on that in awhile... The last time was when I saw my family again and they definitely noticed a big change in me. I definitely haven't felt like I did anything to lose weight in a long time though.
Well the time has come to again put up or shut up. I can't keep on living on the past glory, it's time to get back to completing that goal I started a year & a half ago.
The goal is simple to drop the rest of the weight I had been meaning to drop but I'm going to set the time frame to only 30 days.
In 30 days, my friends/co-workers Matt & Eddie are having their yearly birthday party. Last year I remember it being a special time since a lot of people noticed that I had made a big change in my life. I currently weigh about the same amount as I did last year for the birthday party last year.
So for the next 30 days I will be giving up the party life, unless it's for a legitimate reason like a best friends birthday. I'm going to layoff the sweets and the junk food and begin once again to truly realize my potential.
I write this blog so that I can be held accountable. This has been a goal that I have wanted to accomplish for a long time and it's time I put in the work to finish it. My friends watched me start this journey last year & this year I'm going to do everything in my power to complete it.
The journey won't be easy to complete but it is a necessary journey to complete...
Starting tomorrow night after work my journey begins again.... 30 days to go....
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Remembering Grandpa...
On Monday morning I received a phone call from my father letting me know that my grandpa, Stan Connors, up in Kalispell, Montana had passed away. This still came as a bit of a shock despite the fact that I had been pre-warned that the doctors said they didn’t think he had much time left. My grandfather had been dealing with a lot of health issues, the main was dementia. Then about a week to two weeks ago he had an accident and fell and broke his hip. It was at that point that the doctors decided that surgery was not an option since the rehab would be nearly impossible and that they expected that he didn’t have much time left…
I will always remember my grandfather for the family vacations that we went up to Kalispell and stayed with him and grandma up in Kalispell. We made the trip so often that I’m pretty sure I could still drive up there and make the way to where the old house used to be. Grandpa was the man that introduced me to baseball, to Cubs Baseball, we used to watch the games on his TV every summer. During some of the games Grandpa would close his eyes while listening to the game. Sometimes as I was a little one I was tricked in that Grandpa wasn’t sleeping but still listening to the game! I learned a lot about baseball and a lot about life while visiting my grandparents.
I remember one of the highlights in my youth was when I stayed up there one summer I was allowed to drive the riding lawn mower. I being the kid I was drove it like a race car speeding around the front yard and not doing a very good job of mowing the lawn. I also know I ate a lot of ice cream that summer, funny now that I barely eat any ice cream maybe I just really over did it that much up there!
I will always remember my grandfather for the great man that he was. I’m happy that I didn’t see him during his later years while the dementia and everything was setting in. It makes it easier for me to just remember him the way he was and for the way in my heart he will always be.
Grandpa you will be missed, but now you can watch all of the Cubs games from up in heaven, maybe this might actually be the year…
I will always remember my grandfather for the family vacations that we went up to Kalispell and stayed with him and grandma up in Kalispell. We made the trip so often that I’m pretty sure I could still drive up there and make the way to where the old house used to be. Grandpa was the man that introduced me to baseball, to Cubs Baseball, we used to watch the games on his TV every summer. During some of the games Grandpa would close his eyes while listening to the game. Sometimes as I was a little one I was tricked in that Grandpa wasn’t sleeping but still listening to the game! I learned a lot about baseball and a lot about life while visiting my grandparents.
I remember one of the highlights in my youth was when I stayed up there one summer I was allowed to drive the riding lawn mower. I being the kid I was drove it like a race car speeding around the front yard and not doing a very good job of mowing the lawn. I also know I ate a lot of ice cream that summer, funny now that I barely eat any ice cream maybe I just really over did it that much up there!
I will always remember my grandfather for the great man that he was. I’m happy that I didn’t see him during his later years while the dementia and everything was setting in. It makes it easier for me to just remember him the way he was and for the way in my heart he will always be.
Grandpa you will be missed, but now you can watch all of the Cubs games from up in heaven, maybe this might actually be the year…
Monday, August 31, 2009
Last Day Being 30!
So it just hit me moments ago that today was the last day that I will be 30 years old. In approximately 10 1/2 hours I will be the big 31.
This has been an amazing year for me, looking back quickly it started on an uncomfortable note as I had thought I was going to have the biggest gathering ever at the VooDoo Lounge as I turned the big 30. Things didn't go exactly as I planned and it was probably for the best because it set about major changes in my life.
I learned that there are only a select few that you can truly depend on in life. The one person that you can only predict and depend on is yourself. You can't wait for anyone else to make you in to a better person so you have to do that for yourself.
So about 3 months later I got the news that my friend Nicole wanted me to be in her wedding. Knowing that her husband was in my mind a toothpick and I figured I didn't want to be the biggest groomsman I started on this plan to lose 30 pounds in 100 days. In the end I failed at losing all the weight but it was the start of something great.
9 months later, I am now 40 pounds lighter than when I started out in 2009. I still have about 25 more pounds I would love to lose and lately I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I plan on starting again on the day I turn 31.
My professional life has seen the best of times and the worst of times. I have enjoyed great success as the Evening Supervisor at KVBC-TV. Unfortunately due to a very tough and turbulent economy the worst of times has meant watching a lot of great friends leave and move on to other things. This past week was probably one of the worst ones that I have ever experienced in my professional life. Watching as layoffs have taken some of the best people out of their positions and sent them to the unemployment line has been extremely difficult. I always do firmly believe that people will move on to bigger and better things though.
As for me I have become a lot more positive of a person. It is funny because occasionally this year people have referred to me as being an inspiration to them. I used to always go and seek out inspiration from others but in the end I found that I could truly inspire myself.
I will always remember one person in high school referring to me as having a big heart and to never change that about me. I have learned this year to let that big heart out a little bit more and to show it off whenever I get the chance.
As a result I have met someone who in the past month has changed a lot of my previously held opinions on the world. She has opened my eyes and opened up my heart and now I'm just dreaming big about the future. Amazing how for so long I thought I was going to be the bachelor for life and now I'm seeing that there might be potential to change that theory about myself.
A lot of things have changed for me in my 30th year of existance on this Earth... I am curious about what the end of my 31st will be like but as of right now as I start my 31st year living I believe I'm finally starting to do that.... Live!
My goals for my 31st year will be the following:
1) Drop the rest of the weight and finally discover what I look like with a 6 pack.
2) Keep the heart open to new and exciting things and don't let the negativity consume me like it has others.
3) Continue to make progress with my career, develop new working relationships and strive to make everyone I work with the best they can be.
4) Be better about being in touch with friends and work hard at continuing to inspire them to strive for their full potential.
5) Be as happy at the end of my 31st as I am right now at the end of my 30th.
This has been an amazing year for me, looking back quickly it started on an uncomfortable note as I had thought I was going to have the biggest gathering ever at the VooDoo Lounge as I turned the big 30. Things didn't go exactly as I planned and it was probably for the best because it set about major changes in my life.
I learned that there are only a select few that you can truly depend on in life. The one person that you can only predict and depend on is yourself. You can't wait for anyone else to make you in to a better person so you have to do that for yourself.
So about 3 months later I got the news that my friend Nicole wanted me to be in her wedding. Knowing that her husband was in my mind a toothpick and I figured I didn't want to be the biggest groomsman I started on this plan to lose 30 pounds in 100 days. In the end I failed at losing all the weight but it was the start of something great.
9 months later, I am now 40 pounds lighter than when I started out in 2009. I still have about 25 more pounds I would love to lose and lately I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I plan on starting again on the day I turn 31.
My professional life has seen the best of times and the worst of times. I have enjoyed great success as the Evening Supervisor at KVBC-TV. Unfortunately due to a very tough and turbulent economy the worst of times has meant watching a lot of great friends leave and move on to other things. This past week was probably one of the worst ones that I have ever experienced in my professional life. Watching as layoffs have taken some of the best people out of their positions and sent them to the unemployment line has been extremely difficult. I always do firmly believe that people will move on to bigger and better things though.
As for me I have become a lot more positive of a person. It is funny because occasionally this year people have referred to me as being an inspiration to them. I used to always go and seek out inspiration from others but in the end I found that I could truly inspire myself.
I will always remember one person in high school referring to me as having a big heart and to never change that about me. I have learned this year to let that big heart out a little bit more and to show it off whenever I get the chance.
As a result I have met someone who in the past month has changed a lot of my previously held opinions on the world. She has opened my eyes and opened up my heart and now I'm just dreaming big about the future. Amazing how for so long I thought I was going to be the bachelor for life and now I'm seeing that there might be potential to change that theory about myself.
A lot of things have changed for me in my 30th year of existance on this Earth... I am curious about what the end of my 31st will be like but as of right now as I start my 31st year living I believe I'm finally starting to do that.... Live!
My goals for my 31st year will be the following:
1) Drop the rest of the weight and finally discover what I look like with a 6 pack.
2) Keep the heart open to new and exciting things and don't let the negativity consume me like it has others.
3) Continue to make progress with my career, develop new working relationships and strive to make everyone I work with the best they can be.
4) Be better about being in touch with friends and work hard at continuing to inspire them to strive for their full potential.
5) Be as happy at the end of my 31st as I am right now at the end of my 30th.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sipping on the Hater-ade
It is simply amazing to me how many people in this world just seem to be completely consumed by hatred. It's one thing to hate someone if they have completely wronged you and did something that is completely unforgiveable. It is a completely different thing when people are just jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic or extremely childish.
I consider myself a person that is fairly likeable and generally easy to get along with. I'm a very generous person when it comes to giving what I have whether it be financial, physical or mental. Even though I have these qualities I still find myself the victims of the haters.
There was a time when it would actually bother me but I have had to learn that no matter who you are you will have someone that hates you. No matter what you do you can't please everyone.
So just to give some of the haters some love I figured I should write about a couple of my favorites in no particular order...
Former co-workers... My friend Sarah went to work in my home city and at one point she happened to run across some production types from my old station. She mentioned to them that I used to work there and the mention of my name wasn't well received. When she told me that, I was honestly shocked but in the end quite entertained. When I left I think I was the last of a string of great directors that worked at the station. I can't say I know all of the previous ones but one was definitely James Rafferty, he changed a lot of things at KRTV and made the newscasts a lot better looking then they had been previously. Next up was the person who I will always consider the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be when it comes to directing my sister--Angela (Dyke) Berrett. She taught me so much at my first job and taught me about having a passion for the job. If it weren't for my sister then I would never have started working in TV. Finally I was the last... When my sister left I took on a lot of responsibilities at the station. For my newscasts, I would build graphics, edit, pre-produce, type CG's, run audio, switch, operate a still store, operate a DVE or two as well as direct. I also was in charge of the website, handled scheduling, helped train new reporters/anchors and the list probably could still go on... The reason that there are people that hate me is because towards the end of my run I wanted to pass on what I knew to anyone willing to learn. Well I found that there was only one person that wanted to learn so I taught him what I could. There was a lot to do and I think when I left they wanted to hold him to the same standard that I had attained when I left. Well things didn't work out well for this man and he went back to his old TV station and chose to be a master control operator instead of a director. So I have to assume that the next poor souls who came up the line really had pressure on them and when they didn't even know half of what I knew because they didn't choose to learn, there world came crumbling down on them. I'm sure when you hear enough times "James Rafferty did this...." "Angela Berrett did this...." "Shawn Dyke did this..." It gets to the point where you start to hate the names simply being mentioned.
The thing that made me happy was even after all the hating, I went into the station to visit some of my former co-workers, there were only a few there but when I stopped in the new News Director who I had never met stopped me and said, "You must be Shawn Dyke." I was shocked that he would actually know my name and he said that he had heard great things about me. I didn't bother to visit my old co-workers in News Production but I realized at that time that I had attained the status that I never thought could be attained when I worked there. I had become a legend of KRTV just like James Rafferty and my sister.
Legends are loved by some and hated by others... History is written by the victorious and knowing that I had become remembered as a great one back there meant that I was indeed victorious. If only they had a shirt that said "KRTV Legend, I came, I directed, I conquered and I moved on...."
Former friend hater.... I still have a strong part of me that doesn't want to make people mad but I had to learn that some people no matter what you do just are going to hate you. One of the current haters is a former great friend. When I first met him I was very similar to him, both of us were quiet and we were more than content just to follow the leader. We both had similar body types and there was no free party that wasn't a good party. Then this year I started making some changes in my life. I started to grow up and realize that in order to be a happy person I had to start putting the work in and not just waiting for something/someone special to fall into my lap. I started to become my own person and when I noticed my friend being left behind I tried to help motivate him to get on my band wagon and move his life forward. Instead he decided that he did not want to change and would rather do things in life that I felt would just make me into a miserable person. I moved on, he stayed behind... He said some harsh words to say to me and I just left it at that... I figure when someone has that much hate for a person just let them be... They've turned to the darkside, it's best that you leave them be rather than being sucked down with them...
Current hater number two, one of my current co-workers... I won't say much about this one because it is after all about a current co-worker. Needless to say I don't know what I did to make this person so mad besides sticking up for my production staff and also sticking up for my friends that I felt this person was taking advantage of. Being a generous person as I previously mentioned, I recognize perhaps a lot easier when one of my very generous friends is being taken advantage of. Anyways this person does not speak to me and makes it a point to speak to everyone around me rather than even acknowledging my presence. I did my best to make small talk and heal the rift between us but to no avail. Now I just will let it be, I'm not putting in any more effort. Sometimes when there are problems with people you work with you just have to come in and do the job, act professionally and go home. If you asked me how I honestly felt about this person I would say I really have nothing against the person, I just won't open myself up for more negativity from them.
Those are just a couple of examples of the haters in my world.... I'm sure there are others. The funny thing is there are so few people that hate me that I wonder why I even spend any of my time thinking about them... I think at most there might be 5-10 people that hate me.
Now looking at just my friends on Facebook there are about 160 of them and I have a lot of friends that aren't on Facebook. So in the end the haters represent less than 5% of the people I know in life.... Yet another reason not to give them that much thought.
I feel that I'm a good friend, I believe that I always do my best to cheer people up, offer words of wisdom to them, and be there whenever a friend needs me. There are a lot of great people in my life and to all the haters out there this was your 10 minutes of fame in my life.
I choose to dedicate my time and my life to being the great person I have always endeavored to be. I will continue to live my life by a higher standard, and I know that I don't have time to dwell on the negativity.... After all is said and done I want my life to be summed up by a couple of phrases, one of which should be... "Liked by some, hated by few, loved by most, respected by all...."
....Haters of the world, how do you want to be remembered? As a childish, immature, jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic person.... or will you find a way to re-deem yourself and grow up a little bit?
I consider myself a person that is fairly likeable and generally easy to get along with. I'm a very generous person when it comes to giving what I have whether it be financial, physical or mental. Even though I have these qualities I still find myself the victims of the haters.
There was a time when it would actually bother me but I have had to learn that no matter who you are you will have someone that hates you. No matter what you do you can't please everyone.
So just to give some of the haters some love I figured I should write about a couple of my favorites in no particular order...
Former co-workers... My friend Sarah went to work in my home city and at one point she happened to run across some production types from my old station. She mentioned to them that I used to work there and the mention of my name wasn't well received. When she told me that, I was honestly shocked but in the end quite entertained. When I left I think I was the last of a string of great directors that worked at the station. I can't say I know all of the previous ones but one was definitely James Rafferty, he changed a lot of things at KRTV and made the newscasts a lot better looking then they had been previously. Next up was the person who I will always consider the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be when it comes to directing my sister--Angela (Dyke) Berrett. She taught me so much at my first job and taught me about having a passion for the job. If it weren't for my sister then I would never have started working in TV. Finally I was the last... When my sister left I took on a lot of responsibilities at the station. For my newscasts, I would build graphics, edit, pre-produce, type CG's, run audio, switch, operate a still store, operate a DVE or two as well as direct. I also was in charge of the website, handled scheduling, helped train new reporters/anchors and the list probably could still go on... The reason that there are people that hate me is because towards the end of my run I wanted to pass on what I knew to anyone willing to learn. Well I found that there was only one person that wanted to learn so I taught him what I could. There was a lot to do and I think when I left they wanted to hold him to the same standard that I had attained when I left. Well things didn't work out well for this man and he went back to his old TV station and chose to be a master control operator instead of a director. So I have to assume that the next poor souls who came up the line really had pressure on them and when they didn't even know half of what I knew because they didn't choose to learn, there world came crumbling down on them. I'm sure when you hear enough times "James Rafferty did this...." "Angela Berrett did this...." "Shawn Dyke did this..." It gets to the point where you start to hate the names simply being mentioned.
The thing that made me happy was even after all the hating, I went into the station to visit some of my former co-workers, there were only a few there but when I stopped in the new News Director who I had never met stopped me and said, "You must be Shawn Dyke." I was shocked that he would actually know my name and he said that he had heard great things about me. I didn't bother to visit my old co-workers in News Production but I realized at that time that I had attained the status that I never thought could be attained when I worked there. I had become a legend of KRTV just like James Rafferty and my sister.
Legends are loved by some and hated by others... History is written by the victorious and knowing that I had become remembered as a great one back there meant that I was indeed victorious. If only they had a shirt that said "KRTV Legend, I came, I directed, I conquered and I moved on...."
Former friend hater.... I still have a strong part of me that doesn't want to make people mad but I had to learn that some people no matter what you do just are going to hate you. One of the current haters is a former great friend. When I first met him I was very similar to him, both of us were quiet and we were more than content just to follow the leader. We both had similar body types and there was no free party that wasn't a good party. Then this year I started making some changes in my life. I started to grow up and realize that in order to be a happy person I had to start putting the work in and not just waiting for something/someone special to fall into my lap. I started to become my own person and when I noticed my friend being left behind I tried to help motivate him to get on my band wagon and move his life forward. Instead he decided that he did not want to change and would rather do things in life that I felt would just make me into a miserable person. I moved on, he stayed behind... He said some harsh words to say to me and I just left it at that... I figure when someone has that much hate for a person just let them be... They've turned to the darkside, it's best that you leave them be rather than being sucked down with them...
Current hater number two, one of my current co-workers... I won't say much about this one because it is after all about a current co-worker. Needless to say I don't know what I did to make this person so mad besides sticking up for my production staff and also sticking up for my friends that I felt this person was taking advantage of. Being a generous person as I previously mentioned, I recognize perhaps a lot easier when one of my very generous friends is being taken advantage of. Anyways this person does not speak to me and makes it a point to speak to everyone around me rather than even acknowledging my presence. I did my best to make small talk and heal the rift between us but to no avail. Now I just will let it be, I'm not putting in any more effort. Sometimes when there are problems with people you work with you just have to come in and do the job, act professionally and go home. If you asked me how I honestly felt about this person I would say I really have nothing against the person, I just won't open myself up for more negativity from them.
Those are just a couple of examples of the haters in my world.... I'm sure there are others. The funny thing is there are so few people that hate me that I wonder why I even spend any of my time thinking about them... I think at most there might be 5-10 people that hate me.
Now looking at just my friends on Facebook there are about 160 of them and I have a lot of friends that aren't on Facebook. So in the end the haters represent less than 5% of the people I know in life.... Yet another reason not to give them that much thought.
I feel that I'm a good friend, I believe that I always do my best to cheer people up, offer words of wisdom to them, and be there whenever a friend needs me. There are a lot of great people in my life and to all the haters out there this was your 10 minutes of fame in my life.
I choose to dedicate my time and my life to being the great person I have always endeavored to be. I will continue to live my life by a higher standard, and I know that I don't have time to dwell on the negativity.... After all is said and done I want my life to be summed up by a couple of phrases, one of which should be... "Liked by some, hated by few, loved by most, respected by all...."
....Haters of the world, how do you want to be remembered? As a childish, immature, jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic person.... or will you find a way to re-deem yourself and grow up a little bit?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Vegas: It Will Make You Or Break You
Back by popular demand, or just the request of one person is my blog... Trust me I have had a lot to write about but just haven't taken the time to sit down and do.
I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now... I've been here in Las Vegas for almost 4 years now. In that time I have seen a lot of people come and go, a lot of people have come here with great expectations only to be chewed up and spit out by Sin City. Yes, Las Vegas has it's share of success stories, high rollers and people who have lived out their dreams here...but for each of those there are even more people who are barely getting by, living pay check to pay check and have watched their dreams crumble right before their very own eyes.
For me I see Las Vegas as a beautiful skyline, great weather and if you look very hard and keep searching eventually you can find some really great people. This is a very tough town to meet people though. A lot of women come in looking for sugar daddies, to have everything bought and paid for them and for them to always be treated like celebrities who can party all week long and not have to worry about paying for any of it. For a lot of guys they are just looking for a one night hookup, moving through women like a kid mows through candy at a candy store.
Each of these kind of men & women are what makes Las Vegas bad... It seems like every nice girl I have met has had a bad experience with a previously mentioned "hit it and then split it" guy and every nice guy has had an experience with a girl that "ain't nothing but a gold digger"... I would refer to this as the darkside of Las Vegas and it seems like most of the good people that come to Vegas either get turned to the darkside or they just can't take it anymore and finally leave. There are also some that just lose their faith that there are nice people to be found in Las Vegas and just become people that live their life on auto pilot just trying to get by and hope that eventually something will come into their life and change it all.
I have recently discovered a really great girl in one of the last places I would ever go looking for a serious relationship. She works in the club/nightlife scene here in Las Vegas and it's amazing how much you can learn about the city you live in through someone elses eyes. I never realized how shunned you can be by identifying yourself as a local here in Las Vegas. The reason being because locals tend to be the biggest cheap asses who don't treat the servers well and come in with a certain disillusionment about the world. Tourists are actually looked upon more favorably in some situations due to them throwing money around just to have a one weekend experience that they can remember for a lifetime.
Anyways about the girl, I truly believe this girl is a diamond in the rough in this city... From what I can tell she has been chewed a bit by the city and by life but still she perseveres. As one friend wrote recently on Twitter: "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverence." My girl, as I call her, has definitely persevered... She keeps a sense of class and elegance about her while still being a down to earth girl...she puts herself last a lot of times thinking mainly about everyone else and looking out for her friends and her family before worrying about herself. She truly strikes me as a person that is just like me and someone I hope to get to know even better as the days and weeks progress. I also believe she might be the most special person I have ever met.
I have not quite figured out if Las Vegas has made me or broke me yet... I just know that I have a great job, I have great friends, I have had great experiences and I have lost about 40 pounds so far in this city. I see the potential for great success in this city by me just remembering where I came from and what brought me to this place in my life.
That is the secret to my success, remembering where you came from, who you truly are and what you want your life to be. Do not ever lose track of those things or you will lose yourself in the Las Vegas life.
Another secret that will work for anyone is always make sure you only surround yourself with people that are good for you. I think of my friends as like an onion, the outer layers could be peeled an discarded and are no big deal. At the heart of the onion is me and my closest friends. On the far outside are the acquaintances/people that don't mean that much to me. A little further in are the people that I talk to on occasion but it doesn't count for much. Further in more you start to find the people that I care about and respect. As you get closer to the center you find the people that are always in my thoughts and prayers. The ring right outside of the center are the people that inspire me, motivate me and make the person that I am. They define me and I would do anything I possibly could to help them out when they need it. They are the people that I trust and I hope will always trust in me.
For me I let people in fairly close to the center easily when I first meet them... I want people to know who I really am at heart and not a fake person... What they choose to do with that status in my life is completely up to them. I have just definitely learned that when relationships turn toxic you definitely need to figure out if this friendship/relationship is worth saving or if it's just time for you to kick them out of your life and move on. I have always been a person that wants everyone to like me but recently I have had to learn that you need to just let people move on and figure out for themselves who they are.
This blog and my life is dedicated to the people at the center of my world, my best friends and the people that mean the most to me.... Just in case they don't know who they are here is a short list of those I hold closest to me not including family... Michael, Jeff, Kendra, Chi, Nicole, Casey, Courtney, Sarah, Dawn, Kristine, Megan, Rebecca, Sobeyda, Cindy, and Carrie. Thank you to the above mentioned people for being a part of my life and helping me to be the person that I am today. It is all of your combined greatness that inspires me and motivates me everyday to be the best. I am who I am because of the people that I have met in my life and I will always hold each and every one of you close to my heart....
This is why I think my life will be a success here in Las Vegas but it won't make me or break me because I will always have the memories and the friendship of the above mentioned people in my heart....
I can never thank you all enough!
I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now... I've been here in Las Vegas for almost 4 years now. In that time I have seen a lot of people come and go, a lot of people have come here with great expectations only to be chewed up and spit out by Sin City. Yes, Las Vegas has it's share of success stories, high rollers and people who have lived out their dreams here...but for each of those there are even more people who are barely getting by, living pay check to pay check and have watched their dreams crumble right before their very own eyes.
For me I see Las Vegas as a beautiful skyline, great weather and if you look very hard and keep searching eventually you can find some really great people. This is a very tough town to meet people though. A lot of women come in looking for sugar daddies, to have everything bought and paid for them and for them to always be treated like celebrities who can party all week long and not have to worry about paying for any of it. For a lot of guys they are just looking for a one night hookup, moving through women like a kid mows through candy at a candy store.
Each of these kind of men & women are what makes Las Vegas bad... It seems like every nice girl I have met has had a bad experience with a previously mentioned "hit it and then split it" guy and every nice guy has had an experience with a girl that "ain't nothing but a gold digger"... I would refer to this as the darkside of Las Vegas and it seems like most of the good people that come to Vegas either get turned to the darkside or they just can't take it anymore and finally leave. There are also some that just lose their faith that there are nice people to be found in Las Vegas and just become people that live their life on auto pilot just trying to get by and hope that eventually something will come into their life and change it all.
I have recently discovered a really great girl in one of the last places I would ever go looking for a serious relationship. She works in the club/nightlife scene here in Las Vegas and it's amazing how much you can learn about the city you live in through someone elses eyes. I never realized how shunned you can be by identifying yourself as a local here in Las Vegas. The reason being because locals tend to be the biggest cheap asses who don't treat the servers well and come in with a certain disillusionment about the world. Tourists are actually looked upon more favorably in some situations due to them throwing money around just to have a one weekend experience that they can remember for a lifetime.
Anyways about the girl, I truly believe this girl is a diamond in the rough in this city... From what I can tell she has been chewed a bit by the city and by life but still she perseveres. As one friend wrote recently on Twitter: "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverence." My girl, as I call her, has definitely persevered... She keeps a sense of class and elegance about her while still being a down to earth girl...she puts herself last a lot of times thinking mainly about everyone else and looking out for her friends and her family before worrying about herself. She truly strikes me as a person that is just like me and someone I hope to get to know even better as the days and weeks progress. I also believe she might be the most special person I have ever met.
I have not quite figured out if Las Vegas has made me or broke me yet... I just know that I have a great job, I have great friends, I have had great experiences and I have lost about 40 pounds so far in this city. I see the potential for great success in this city by me just remembering where I came from and what brought me to this place in my life.
That is the secret to my success, remembering where you came from, who you truly are and what you want your life to be. Do not ever lose track of those things or you will lose yourself in the Las Vegas life.
Another secret that will work for anyone is always make sure you only surround yourself with people that are good for you. I think of my friends as like an onion, the outer layers could be peeled an discarded and are no big deal. At the heart of the onion is me and my closest friends. On the far outside are the acquaintances/people that don't mean that much to me. A little further in are the people that I talk to on occasion but it doesn't count for much. Further in more you start to find the people that I care about and respect. As you get closer to the center you find the people that are always in my thoughts and prayers. The ring right outside of the center are the people that inspire me, motivate me and make the person that I am. They define me and I would do anything I possibly could to help them out when they need it. They are the people that I trust and I hope will always trust in me.
For me I let people in fairly close to the center easily when I first meet them... I want people to know who I really am at heart and not a fake person... What they choose to do with that status in my life is completely up to them. I have just definitely learned that when relationships turn toxic you definitely need to figure out if this friendship/relationship is worth saving or if it's just time for you to kick them out of your life and move on. I have always been a person that wants everyone to like me but recently I have had to learn that you need to just let people move on and figure out for themselves who they are.
This blog and my life is dedicated to the people at the center of my world, my best friends and the people that mean the most to me.... Just in case they don't know who they are here is a short list of those I hold closest to me not including family... Michael, Jeff, Kendra, Chi, Nicole, Casey, Courtney, Sarah, Dawn, Kristine, Megan, Rebecca, Sobeyda, Cindy, and Carrie. Thank you to the above mentioned people for being a part of my life and helping me to be the person that I am today. It is all of your combined greatness that inspires me and motivates me everyday to be the best. I am who I am because of the people that I have met in my life and I will always hold each and every one of you close to my heart....
This is why I think my life will be a success here in Las Vegas but it won't make me or break me because I will always have the memories and the friendship of the above mentioned people in my heart....
I can never thank you all enough!
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