So it just hit me moments ago that today was the last day that I will be 30 years old. In approximately 10 1/2 hours I will be the big 31.
This has been an amazing year for me, looking back quickly it started on an uncomfortable note as I had thought I was going to have the biggest gathering ever at the VooDoo Lounge as I turned the big 30. Things didn't go exactly as I planned and it was probably for the best because it set about major changes in my life.
I learned that there are only a select few that you can truly depend on in life. The one person that you can only predict and depend on is yourself. You can't wait for anyone else to make you in to a better person so you have to do that for yourself.
So about 3 months later I got the news that my friend Nicole wanted me to be in her wedding. Knowing that her husband was in my mind a toothpick and I figured I didn't want to be the biggest groomsman I started on this plan to lose 30 pounds in 100 days. In the end I failed at losing all the weight but it was the start of something great.
9 months later, I am now 40 pounds lighter than when I started out in 2009. I still have about 25 more pounds I would love to lose and lately I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I plan on starting again on the day I turn 31.
My professional life has seen the best of times and the worst of times. I have enjoyed great success as the Evening Supervisor at KVBC-TV. Unfortunately due to a very tough and turbulent economy the worst of times has meant watching a lot of great friends leave and move on to other things. This past week was probably one of the worst ones that I have ever experienced in my professional life. Watching as layoffs have taken some of the best people out of their positions and sent them to the unemployment line has been extremely difficult. I always do firmly believe that people will move on to bigger and better things though.
As for me I have become a lot more positive of a person. It is funny because occasionally this year people have referred to me as being an inspiration to them. I used to always go and seek out inspiration from others but in the end I found that I could truly inspire myself.
I will always remember one person in high school referring to me as having a big heart and to never change that about me. I have learned this year to let that big heart out a little bit more and to show it off whenever I get the chance.
As a result I have met someone who in the past month has changed a lot of my previously held opinions on the world. She has opened my eyes and opened up my heart and now I'm just dreaming big about the future. Amazing how for so long I thought I was going to be the bachelor for life and now I'm seeing that there might be potential to change that theory about myself.
A lot of things have changed for me in my 30th year of existance on this Earth... I am curious about what the end of my 31st will be like but as of right now as I start my 31st year living I believe I'm finally starting to do that.... Live!
My goals for my 31st year will be the following:
1) Drop the rest of the weight and finally discover what I look like with a 6 pack.
2) Keep the heart open to new and exciting things and don't let the negativity consume me like it has others.
3) Continue to make progress with my career, develop new working relationships and strive to make everyone I work with the best they can be.
4) Be better about being in touch with friends and work hard at continuing to inspire them to strive for their full potential.
5) Be as happy at the end of my 31st as I am right now at the end of my 30th.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sipping on the Hater-ade
It is simply amazing to me how many people in this world just seem to be completely consumed by hatred. It's one thing to hate someone if they have completely wronged you and did something that is completely unforgiveable. It is a completely different thing when people are just jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic or extremely childish.
I consider myself a person that is fairly likeable and generally easy to get along with. I'm a very generous person when it comes to giving what I have whether it be financial, physical or mental. Even though I have these qualities I still find myself the victims of the haters.
There was a time when it would actually bother me but I have had to learn that no matter who you are you will have someone that hates you. No matter what you do you can't please everyone.
So just to give some of the haters some love I figured I should write about a couple of my favorites in no particular order...
Former co-workers... My friend Sarah went to work in my home city and at one point she happened to run across some production types from my old station. She mentioned to them that I used to work there and the mention of my name wasn't well received. When she told me that, I was honestly shocked but in the end quite entertained. When I left I think I was the last of a string of great directors that worked at the station. I can't say I know all of the previous ones but one was definitely James Rafferty, he changed a lot of things at KRTV and made the newscasts a lot better looking then they had been previously. Next up was the person who I will always consider the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be when it comes to directing my sister--Angela (Dyke) Berrett. She taught me so much at my first job and taught me about having a passion for the job. If it weren't for my sister then I would never have started working in TV. Finally I was the last... When my sister left I took on a lot of responsibilities at the station. For my newscasts, I would build graphics, edit, pre-produce, type CG's, run audio, switch, operate a still store, operate a DVE or two as well as direct. I also was in charge of the website, handled scheduling, helped train new reporters/anchors and the list probably could still go on... The reason that there are people that hate me is because towards the end of my run I wanted to pass on what I knew to anyone willing to learn. Well I found that there was only one person that wanted to learn so I taught him what I could. There was a lot to do and I think when I left they wanted to hold him to the same standard that I had attained when I left. Well things didn't work out well for this man and he went back to his old TV station and chose to be a master control operator instead of a director. So I have to assume that the next poor souls who came up the line really had pressure on them and when they didn't even know half of what I knew because they didn't choose to learn, there world came crumbling down on them. I'm sure when you hear enough times "James Rafferty did this...." "Angela Berrett did this...." "Shawn Dyke did this..." It gets to the point where you start to hate the names simply being mentioned.
The thing that made me happy was even after all the hating, I went into the station to visit some of my former co-workers, there were only a few there but when I stopped in the new News Director who I had never met stopped me and said, "You must be Shawn Dyke." I was shocked that he would actually know my name and he said that he had heard great things about me. I didn't bother to visit my old co-workers in News Production but I realized at that time that I had attained the status that I never thought could be attained when I worked there. I had become a legend of KRTV just like James Rafferty and my sister.
Legends are loved by some and hated by others... History is written by the victorious and knowing that I had become remembered as a great one back there meant that I was indeed victorious. If only they had a shirt that said "KRTV Legend, I came, I directed, I conquered and I moved on...."
Former friend hater.... I still have a strong part of me that doesn't want to make people mad but I had to learn that some people no matter what you do just are going to hate you. One of the current haters is a former great friend. When I first met him I was very similar to him, both of us were quiet and we were more than content just to follow the leader. We both had similar body types and there was no free party that wasn't a good party. Then this year I started making some changes in my life. I started to grow up and realize that in order to be a happy person I had to start putting the work in and not just waiting for something/someone special to fall into my lap. I started to become my own person and when I noticed my friend being left behind I tried to help motivate him to get on my band wagon and move his life forward. Instead he decided that he did not want to change and would rather do things in life that I felt would just make me into a miserable person. I moved on, he stayed behind... He said some harsh words to say to me and I just left it at that... I figure when someone has that much hate for a person just let them be... They've turned to the darkside, it's best that you leave them be rather than being sucked down with them...
Current hater number two, one of my current co-workers... I won't say much about this one because it is after all about a current co-worker. Needless to say I don't know what I did to make this person so mad besides sticking up for my production staff and also sticking up for my friends that I felt this person was taking advantage of. Being a generous person as I previously mentioned, I recognize perhaps a lot easier when one of my very generous friends is being taken advantage of. Anyways this person does not speak to me and makes it a point to speak to everyone around me rather than even acknowledging my presence. I did my best to make small talk and heal the rift between us but to no avail. Now I just will let it be, I'm not putting in any more effort. Sometimes when there are problems with people you work with you just have to come in and do the job, act professionally and go home. If you asked me how I honestly felt about this person I would say I really have nothing against the person, I just won't open myself up for more negativity from them.
Those are just a couple of examples of the haters in my world.... I'm sure there are others. The funny thing is there are so few people that hate me that I wonder why I even spend any of my time thinking about them... I think at most there might be 5-10 people that hate me.
Now looking at just my friends on Facebook there are about 160 of them and I have a lot of friends that aren't on Facebook. So in the end the haters represent less than 5% of the people I know in life.... Yet another reason not to give them that much thought.
I feel that I'm a good friend, I believe that I always do my best to cheer people up, offer words of wisdom to them, and be there whenever a friend needs me. There are a lot of great people in my life and to all the haters out there this was your 10 minutes of fame in my life.
I choose to dedicate my time and my life to being the great person I have always endeavored to be. I will continue to live my life by a higher standard, and I know that I don't have time to dwell on the negativity.... After all is said and done I want my life to be summed up by a couple of phrases, one of which should be... "Liked by some, hated by few, loved by most, respected by all...."
....Haters of the world, how do you want to be remembered? As a childish, immature, jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic person.... or will you find a way to re-deem yourself and grow up a little bit?
I consider myself a person that is fairly likeable and generally easy to get along with. I'm a very generous person when it comes to giving what I have whether it be financial, physical or mental. Even though I have these qualities I still find myself the victims of the haters.
There was a time when it would actually bother me but I have had to learn that no matter who you are you will have someone that hates you. No matter what you do you can't please everyone.
So just to give some of the haters some love I figured I should write about a couple of my favorites in no particular order...
Former co-workers... My friend Sarah went to work in my home city and at one point she happened to run across some production types from my old station. She mentioned to them that I used to work there and the mention of my name wasn't well received. When she told me that, I was honestly shocked but in the end quite entertained. When I left I think I was the last of a string of great directors that worked at the station. I can't say I know all of the previous ones but one was definitely James Rafferty, he changed a lot of things at KRTV and made the newscasts a lot better looking then they had been previously. Next up was the person who I will always consider the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be when it comes to directing my sister--Angela (Dyke) Berrett. She taught me so much at my first job and taught me about having a passion for the job. If it weren't for my sister then I would never have started working in TV. Finally I was the last... When my sister left I took on a lot of responsibilities at the station. For my newscasts, I would build graphics, edit, pre-produce, type CG's, run audio, switch, operate a still store, operate a DVE or two as well as direct. I also was in charge of the website, handled scheduling, helped train new reporters/anchors and the list probably could still go on... The reason that there are people that hate me is because towards the end of my run I wanted to pass on what I knew to anyone willing to learn. Well I found that there was only one person that wanted to learn so I taught him what I could. There was a lot to do and I think when I left they wanted to hold him to the same standard that I had attained when I left. Well things didn't work out well for this man and he went back to his old TV station and chose to be a master control operator instead of a director. So I have to assume that the next poor souls who came up the line really had pressure on them and when they didn't even know half of what I knew because they didn't choose to learn, there world came crumbling down on them. I'm sure when you hear enough times "James Rafferty did this...." "Angela Berrett did this...." "Shawn Dyke did this..." It gets to the point where you start to hate the names simply being mentioned.
The thing that made me happy was even after all the hating, I went into the station to visit some of my former co-workers, there were only a few there but when I stopped in the new News Director who I had never met stopped me and said, "You must be Shawn Dyke." I was shocked that he would actually know my name and he said that he had heard great things about me. I didn't bother to visit my old co-workers in News Production but I realized at that time that I had attained the status that I never thought could be attained when I worked there. I had become a legend of KRTV just like James Rafferty and my sister.
Legends are loved by some and hated by others... History is written by the victorious and knowing that I had become remembered as a great one back there meant that I was indeed victorious. If only they had a shirt that said "KRTV Legend, I came, I directed, I conquered and I moved on...."
Former friend hater.... I still have a strong part of me that doesn't want to make people mad but I had to learn that some people no matter what you do just are going to hate you. One of the current haters is a former great friend. When I first met him I was very similar to him, both of us were quiet and we were more than content just to follow the leader. We both had similar body types and there was no free party that wasn't a good party. Then this year I started making some changes in my life. I started to grow up and realize that in order to be a happy person I had to start putting the work in and not just waiting for something/someone special to fall into my lap. I started to become my own person and when I noticed my friend being left behind I tried to help motivate him to get on my band wagon and move his life forward. Instead he decided that he did not want to change and would rather do things in life that I felt would just make me into a miserable person. I moved on, he stayed behind... He said some harsh words to say to me and I just left it at that... I figure when someone has that much hate for a person just let them be... They've turned to the darkside, it's best that you leave them be rather than being sucked down with them...
Current hater number two, one of my current co-workers... I won't say much about this one because it is after all about a current co-worker. Needless to say I don't know what I did to make this person so mad besides sticking up for my production staff and also sticking up for my friends that I felt this person was taking advantage of. Being a generous person as I previously mentioned, I recognize perhaps a lot easier when one of my very generous friends is being taken advantage of. Anyways this person does not speak to me and makes it a point to speak to everyone around me rather than even acknowledging my presence. I did my best to make small talk and heal the rift between us but to no avail. Now I just will let it be, I'm not putting in any more effort. Sometimes when there are problems with people you work with you just have to come in and do the job, act professionally and go home. If you asked me how I honestly felt about this person I would say I really have nothing against the person, I just won't open myself up for more negativity from them.
Those are just a couple of examples of the haters in my world.... I'm sure there are others. The funny thing is there are so few people that hate me that I wonder why I even spend any of my time thinking about them... I think at most there might be 5-10 people that hate me.
Now looking at just my friends on Facebook there are about 160 of them and I have a lot of friends that aren't on Facebook. So in the end the haters represent less than 5% of the people I know in life.... Yet another reason not to give them that much thought.
I feel that I'm a good friend, I believe that I always do my best to cheer people up, offer words of wisdom to them, and be there whenever a friend needs me. There are a lot of great people in my life and to all the haters out there this was your 10 minutes of fame in my life.
I choose to dedicate my time and my life to being the great person I have always endeavored to be. I will continue to live my life by a higher standard, and I know that I don't have time to dwell on the negativity.... After all is said and done I want my life to be summed up by a couple of phrases, one of which should be... "Liked by some, hated by few, loved by most, respected by all...."
....Haters of the world, how do you want to be remembered? As a childish, immature, jealous, envious, petty, narcisistic person.... or will you find a way to re-deem yourself and grow up a little bit?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Vegas: It Will Make You Or Break You
Back by popular demand, or just the request of one person is my blog... Trust me I have had a lot to write about but just haven't taken the time to sit down and do.
I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now... I've been here in Las Vegas for almost 4 years now. In that time I have seen a lot of people come and go, a lot of people have come here with great expectations only to be chewed up and spit out by Sin City. Yes, Las Vegas has it's share of success stories, high rollers and people who have lived out their dreams here...but for each of those there are even more people who are barely getting by, living pay check to pay check and have watched their dreams crumble right before their very own eyes.
For me I see Las Vegas as a beautiful skyline, great weather and if you look very hard and keep searching eventually you can find some really great people. This is a very tough town to meet people though. A lot of women come in looking for sugar daddies, to have everything bought and paid for them and for them to always be treated like celebrities who can party all week long and not have to worry about paying for any of it. For a lot of guys they are just looking for a one night hookup, moving through women like a kid mows through candy at a candy store.
Each of these kind of men & women are what makes Las Vegas bad... It seems like every nice girl I have met has had a bad experience with a previously mentioned "hit it and then split it" guy and every nice guy has had an experience with a girl that "ain't nothing but a gold digger"... I would refer to this as the darkside of Las Vegas and it seems like most of the good people that come to Vegas either get turned to the darkside or they just can't take it anymore and finally leave. There are also some that just lose their faith that there are nice people to be found in Las Vegas and just become people that live their life on auto pilot just trying to get by and hope that eventually something will come into their life and change it all.
I have recently discovered a really great girl in one of the last places I would ever go looking for a serious relationship. She works in the club/nightlife scene here in Las Vegas and it's amazing how much you can learn about the city you live in through someone elses eyes. I never realized how shunned you can be by identifying yourself as a local here in Las Vegas. The reason being because locals tend to be the biggest cheap asses who don't treat the servers well and come in with a certain disillusionment about the world. Tourists are actually looked upon more favorably in some situations due to them throwing money around just to have a one weekend experience that they can remember for a lifetime.
Anyways about the girl, I truly believe this girl is a diamond in the rough in this city... From what I can tell she has been chewed a bit by the city and by life but still she perseveres. As one friend wrote recently on Twitter: "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverence." My girl, as I call her, has definitely persevered... She keeps a sense of class and elegance about her while still being a down to earth girl...she puts herself last a lot of times thinking mainly about everyone else and looking out for her friends and her family before worrying about herself. She truly strikes me as a person that is just like me and someone I hope to get to know even better as the days and weeks progress. I also believe she might be the most special person I have ever met.
I have not quite figured out if Las Vegas has made me or broke me yet... I just know that I have a great job, I have great friends, I have had great experiences and I have lost about 40 pounds so far in this city. I see the potential for great success in this city by me just remembering where I came from and what brought me to this place in my life.
That is the secret to my success, remembering where you came from, who you truly are and what you want your life to be. Do not ever lose track of those things or you will lose yourself in the Las Vegas life.
Another secret that will work for anyone is always make sure you only surround yourself with people that are good for you. I think of my friends as like an onion, the outer layers could be peeled an discarded and are no big deal. At the heart of the onion is me and my closest friends. On the far outside are the acquaintances/people that don't mean that much to me. A little further in are the people that I talk to on occasion but it doesn't count for much. Further in more you start to find the people that I care about and respect. As you get closer to the center you find the people that are always in my thoughts and prayers. The ring right outside of the center are the people that inspire me, motivate me and make the person that I am. They define me and I would do anything I possibly could to help them out when they need it. They are the people that I trust and I hope will always trust in me.
For me I let people in fairly close to the center easily when I first meet them... I want people to know who I really am at heart and not a fake person... What they choose to do with that status in my life is completely up to them. I have just definitely learned that when relationships turn toxic you definitely need to figure out if this friendship/relationship is worth saving or if it's just time for you to kick them out of your life and move on. I have always been a person that wants everyone to like me but recently I have had to learn that you need to just let people move on and figure out for themselves who they are.
This blog and my life is dedicated to the people at the center of my world, my best friends and the people that mean the most to me.... Just in case they don't know who they are here is a short list of those I hold closest to me not including family... Michael, Jeff, Kendra, Chi, Nicole, Casey, Courtney, Sarah, Dawn, Kristine, Megan, Rebecca, Sobeyda, Cindy, and Carrie. Thank you to the above mentioned people for being a part of my life and helping me to be the person that I am today. It is all of your combined greatness that inspires me and motivates me everyday to be the best. I am who I am because of the people that I have met in my life and I will always hold each and every one of you close to my heart....
This is why I think my life will be a success here in Las Vegas but it won't make me or break me because I will always have the memories and the friendship of the above mentioned people in my heart....
I can never thank you all enough!
I have been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now... I've been here in Las Vegas for almost 4 years now. In that time I have seen a lot of people come and go, a lot of people have come here with great expectations only to be chewed up and spit out by Sin City. Yes, Las Vegas has it's share of success stories, high rollers and people who have lived out their dreams here...but for each of those there are even more people who are barely getting by, living pay check to pay check and have watched their dreams crumble right before their very own eyes.
For me I see Las Vegas as a beautiful skyline, great weather and if you look very hard and keep searching eventually you can find some really great people. This is a very tough town to meet people though. A lot of women come in looking for sugar daddies, to have everything bought and paid for them and for them to always be treated like celebrities who can party all week long and not have to worry about paying for any of it. For a lot of guys they are just looking for a one night hookup, moving through women like a kid mows through candy at a candy store.
Each of these kind of men & women are what makes Las Vegas bad... It seems like every nice girl I have met has had a bad experience with a previously mentioned "hit it and then split it" guy and every nice guy has had an experience with a girl that "ain't nothing but a gold digger"... I would refer to this as the darkside of Las Vegas and it seems like most of the good people that come to Vegas either get turned to the darkside or they just can't take it anymore and finally leave. There are also some that just lose their faith that there are nice people to be found in Las Vegas and just become people that live their life on auto pilot just trying to get by and hope that eventually something will come into their life and change it all.
I have recently discovered a really great girl in one of the last places I would ever go looking for a serious relationship. She works in the club/nightlife scene here in Las Vegas and it's amazing how much you can learn about the city you live in through someone elses eyes. I never realized how shunned you can be by identifying yourself as a local here in Las Vegas. The reason being because locals tend to be the biggest cheap asses who don't treat the servers well and come in with a certain disillusionment about the world. Tourists are actually looked upon more favorably in some situations due to them throwing money around just to have a one weekend experience that they can remember for a lifetime.
Anyways about the girl, I truly believe this girl is a diamond in the rough in this city... From what I can tell she has been chewed a bit by the city and by life but still she perseveres. As one friend wrote recently on Twitter: "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverence." My girl, as I call her, has definitely persevered... She keeps a sense of class and elegance about her while still being a down to earth girl...she puts herself last a lot of times thinking mainly about everyone else and looking out for her friends and her family before worrying about herself. She truly strikes me as a person that is just like me and someone I hope to get to know even better as the days and weeks progress. I also believe she might be the most special person I have ever met.
I have not quite figured out if Las Vegas has made me or broke me yet... I just know that I have a great job, I have great friends, I have had great experiences and I have lost about 40 pounds so far in this city. I see the potential for great success in this city by me just remembering where I came from and what brought me to this place in my life.
That is the secret to my success, remembering where you came from, who you truly are and what you want your life to be. Do not ever lose track of those things or you will lose yourself in the Las Vegas life.
Another secret that will work for anyone is always make sure you only surround yourself with people that are good for you. I think of my friends as like an onion, the outer layers could be peeled an discarded and are no big deal. At the heart of the onion is me and my closest friends. On the far outside are the acquaintances/people that don't mean that much to me. A little further in are the people that I talk to on occasion but it doesn't count for much. Further in more you start to find the people that I care about and respect. As you get closer to the center you find the people that are always in my thoughts and prayers. The ring right outside of the center are the people that inspire me, motivate me and make the person that I am. They define me and I would do anything I possibly could to help them out when they need it. They are the people that I trust and I hope will always trust in me.
For me I let people in fairly close to the center easily when I first meet them... I want people to know who I really am at heart and not a fake person... What they choose to do with that status in my life is completely up to them. I have just definitely learned that when relationships turn toxic you definitely need to figure out if this friendship/relationship is worth saving or if it's just time for you to kick them out of your life and move on. I have always been a person that wants everyone to like me but recently I have had to learn that you need to just let people move on and figure out for themselves who they are.
This blog and my life is dedicated to the people at the center of my world, my best friends and the people that mean the most to me.... Just in case they don't know who they are here is a short list of those I hold closest to me not including family... Michael, Jeff, Kendra, Chi, Nicole, Casey, Courtney, Sarah, Dawn, Kristine, Megan, Rebecca, Sobeyda, Cindy, and Carrie. Thank you to the above mentioned people for being a part of my life and helping me to be the person that I am today. It is all of your combined greatness that inspires me and motivates me everyday to be the best. I am who I am because of the people that I have met in my life and I will always hold each and every one of you close to my heart....
This is why I think my life will be a success here in Las Vegas but it won't make me or break me because I will always have the memories and the friendship of the above mentioned people in my heart....
I can never thank you all enough!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Finding Success in the Face of Failure
Today I’ve done something I never have done before. Today I let failure get the best of me. During our second softball game of the day and my only at bat in that game, I walked out feeling like a complete failure. I only could think about badly I have batted this season, how terrible my average was, how I was the weakest player on the team and how I had failed the team so much this season.
The worst part about all of this now looking back is the fact that I wouldn’t even accept the consolation from the players on my team for putting in the effort. I told the coach I was done, packed up my stuff and left without saying goodbye. The game wasn’t even over and I left.
I am very disappointed in myself. I let athletic failure take away from enjoyment of a sport that I have become so passionate about.
I now have to seek redemption in new areas. I know I’m not the best athlete on the team, in fact I’m probably the worst. I might be one of the most passionate people playing the game but that passion just isn’t enough.
This year I have not been playing my best softball, whether it’s just bad luck, lack of playing skill, a hitch in my swing or whatever… The one thing I will accept is that this year I’m in a transition period and I think part of my problem with me playing softball right now is that transition period.
I am doing something that I don’t think anyone on my softball team has ever done. I’m at the start of a transformation of going from a self described fat bastard to a person that can look himself in the mirror and be proud of himself and be in the best physical fitness he has ever been in ever.
The start of this journey started when I stepped on a scale and the display popped up 249.0...
I knew that I could not let that number roll over to 250, I was killing myself and I was on the brink of having some major health problems. The journey is now about 5 ½ months through and I’m down to 233 pounds. I’m hoping to get down to 200 or less pounds by the time I go home to visit my family at Christmas.
I believe that I can fully accomplish this goal. I also believe that I’m getting ready to make some serious headway at this life long goal of mine. I have never been an athletic person, I’ve always been the chubby kid. The one that found his comfort in food and being lazy and spending a lifetime on a couch watching TV. This year that changes…..
Having said this, I think that part of my frustration today on the softball fields came from the fact that I have been knocking off pounds here and there the past 2 weeks and I thought “oh wait till this weekend, I’m going to be stronger, faster and more athletic and I’m going to be so much better….” Well then in the first game: I grounded out and then I hit into a double play before I told our coach to pull me. The next game I struck out swinging. The most embarrassing moment of my softball playing days.
I think I had built myself up so much and when I failed to accomplish my playing goals all that frustration that I have been playing with all season long came to a head and I called it quits.
I don’t like thinking of myself as a quitter, in fact I’m quite ashamed. I feel embarrassed that I will have to face my teammates at work tomorrow and possibly have to explain my actions.
In the end though I have to look inward and dig deeper into myself. I have developed a new philosophy recently that the only person you can ever truly count on is yourself, everyone else will fail you at some point in your life. The truth is even sometimes you will fail yourself. You won’t be mentally all there or your physical ability just isn’t enough on any given day.
Well today I failed myself, physically I wasn’t strong enough or fast enough to beat out the groundballs and mentally I didn’t see the ball well enough to hit it and I just thought about average and proving myself as a success….
All I proved was today, I gave up too easily and I accepted failure too quickly…
Then I realized as the day progressed that failure is a part of success. If you don’t know what it’s like to be a failure then you never know what it feels like to truly succeed. As a fat person who has never been very good at athletics I know what it’s like to be a failure, by the end of this year I plan on finally being the best athlete I have ever been and finally getting to truly feel like I am a success. By the end of this year there will be a new and improved Shawn and this day will be a stepping stone on my own personal path of success.
The worst part about all of this now looking back is the fact that I wouldn’t even accept the consolation from the players on my team for putting in the effort. I told the coach I was done, packed up my stuff and left without saying goodbye. The game wasn’t even over and I left.
I am very disappointed in myself. I let athletic failure take away from enjoyment of a sport that I have become so passionate about.
I now have to seek redemption in new areas. I know I’m not the best athlete on the team, in fact I’m probably the worst. I might be one of the most passionate people playing the game but that passion just isn’t enough.
This year I have not been playing my best softball, whether it’s just bad luck, lack of playing skill, a hitch in my swing or whatever… The one thing I will accept is that this year I’m in a transition period and I think part of my problem with me playing softball right now is that transition period.
I am doing something that I don’t think anyone on my softball team has ever done. I’m at the start of a transformation of going from a self described fat bastard to a person that can look himself in the mirror and be proud of himself and be in the best physical fitness he has ever been in ever.
The start of this journey started when I stepped on a scale and the display popped up 249.0...
I knew that I could not let that number roll over to 250, I was killing myself and I was on the brink of having some major health problems. The journey is now about 5 ½ months through and I’m down to 233 pounds. I’m hoping to get down to 200 or less pounds by the time I go home to visit my family at Christmas.
I believe that I can fully accomplish this goal. I also believe that I’m getting ready to make some serious headway at this life long goal of mine. I have never been an athletic person, I’ve always been the chubby kid. The one that found his comfort in food and being lazy and spending a lifetime on a couch watching TV. This year that changes…..
Having said this, I think that part of my frustration today on the softball fields came from the fact that I have been knocking off pounds here and there the past 2 weeks and I thought “oh wait till this weekend, I’m going to be stronger, faster and more athletic and I’m going to be so much better….” Well then in the first game: I grounded out and then I hit into a double play before I told our coach to pull me. The next game I struck out swinging. The most embarrassing moment of my softball playing days.
I think I had built myself up so much and when I failed to accomplish my playing goals all that frustration that I have been playing with all season long came to a head and I called it quits.
I don’t like thinking of myself as a quitter, in fact I’m quite ashamed. I feel embarrassed that I will have to face my teammates at work tomorrow and possibly have to explain my actions.
In the end though I have to look inward and dig deeper into myself. I have developed a new philosophy recently that the only person you can ever truly count on is yourself, everyone else will fail you at some point in your life. The truth is even sometimes you will fail yourself. You won’t be mentally all there or your physical ability just isn’t enough on any given day.
Well today I failed myself, physically I wasn’t strong enough or fast enough to beat out the groundballs and mentally I didn’t see the ball well enough to hit it and I just thought about average and proving myself as a success….
All I proved was today, I gave up too easily and I accepted failure too quickly…
Then I realized as the day progressed that failure is a part of success. If you don’t know what it’s like to be a failure then you never know what it feels like to truly succeed. As a fat person who has never been very good at athletics I know what it’s like to be a failure, by the end of this year I plan on finally being the best athlete I have ever been and finally getting to truly feel like I am a success. By the end of this year there will be a new and improved Shawn and this day will be a stepping stone on my own personal path of success.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Miss California Schnaniganz
Is it just me or have we heard enough about Miss California and her answer to that crazy question from the Miss USA pageant?
She is becoming the face, a very attractive face of a very ugly debate. That is whether or not same sex couples should have the right to be married or not.
Me personally I don't see an issue with it. The fact is if the shoe was on the other foot and being same sex couples were socially acceptable and being mixed sex couples was the socially unacceptable how would all of the heterosexual people feel about not being allowed to marry. It doesn't matter what you believe, it doesn't matter what you feel is natural.
What matter is what is right... It doesn't hurt anything if they marry. If we can get past mixed race relations then we should be able to get past same sex couples. Remember there were people that didn't believe that different races were natural, the majority at the time thought that people should marry within their own race.
Now as a people we have learned that diversity is what makes us so great. I say let everyone marry whoever they want to. Just because the majority has currently made the laws doesn't mean that the majority is always right.
Let people live their life the way they want to, as long as they are not hurting others. Just because you vote to legalize same sex marriage doesn't mean you have to participate in a same sex marriage.... You can still stick your nose up and act like it doesn't exist. At least you know some where in that heart of yours that you are allowing someone to live their life and be happy.
Isn't that what you would wish for if the roles were reversed?
She is becoming the face, a very attractive face of a very ugly debate. That is whether or not same sex couples should have the right to be married or not.
Me personally I don't see an issue with it. The fact is if the shoe was on the other foot and being same sex couples were socially acceptable and being mixed sex couples was the socially unacceptable how would all of the heterosexual people feel about not being allowed to marry. It doesn't matter what you believe, it doesn't matter what you feel is natural.
What matter is what is right... It doesn't hurt anything if they marry. If we can get past mixed race relations then we should be able to get past same sex couples. Remember there were people that didn't believe that different races were natural, the majority at the time thought that people should marry within their own race.
Now as a people we have learned that diversity is what makes us so great. I say let everyone marry whoever they want to. Just because the majority has currently made the laws doesn't mean that the majority is always right.
Let people live their life the way they want to, as long as they are not hurting others. Just because you vote to legalize same sex marriage doesn't mean you have to participate in a same sex marriage.... You can still stick your nose up and act like it doesn't exist. At least you know some where in that heart of yours that you are allowing someone to live their life and be happy.
Isn't that what you would wish for if the roles were reversed?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
My Rant: Anchors/Reporters & the idiots who take shots at them...
Tonight is one of those nights when I feel like I need to go on a little bit of my infamous rants...
My rant this time as the title says is about the public's need to comment on anchors and reporters and generally it's to say not so flattering things about them.
Now while I respect anyone's right to say whatever is on their mind, I do believe that people should think before they speak. This includes that people should think before they write... Words are very powerful and if thrown around callously, they can be very destructive.
One of the people that has been receiving a lot of comments lately is one of my co-workers Alicia Jacobs. For those of you who do not know Alicia is a former Miss Nevada USA and Miss United States. She is also the entertainment reporter and KVBC.
Recently while out shooting interviews she came across Holly Madison of Girls Next Door fame. Well I don't know the real story because I wasn't there. But by the sounds of it Holly made a comment about Alicia's attire... Alicia at some point made a comment on her twitter that she felt it wasn't very nice. She also stated that Holly Madison was not a good interview.
Well now this has blown up into a local so called "Cat-Fight".... Well this has lead people to make their comments about the situation either positive or negative. Alicia does have her supporters and I will honestly say that I am one of them.
Alicia has always been a very nice person to me. She has a great ability to socialize with anyone and make you feel extremely comfortable. She is very intelligent so I will trust her when she says someone is not a great interview. I have seen these types of interviews before, the ones when asked an intricate question or even a simple one respond with a one word answer. It's similar to if you are on a date with someone and you can't get more than a one word response from them. It is extremely painful and boring.
So if Alicia says she was a bad interview, and having been a person that has occasionally come across Girls Next Door I will definitely say those girls aren't playing with a full deck of cards. Also for the record since Alicia was formerly a pageant contestant she's dealt with a lot worse than this Holly Madison girl can even think about dishing out. Cut your losses Holly, go back to the old men... They are the only ones that find you charming.
Moving on....
Norm's column (Norm! Vegas Confidential) recently featured some news about the station I work for about our Noon show going to a half an hour program. Well some people took this as an opportunity to take shots at some of my co-workers/friends...
First off they are taking shots at our News Director Deborah Clayton. While I can say I don't work underneath the News Director I will say that she has just started her position. She has not been a News Director before and there is no training manual for how to be a good News Director. Just like I know there is no training manual on how to be a good Production Manager, which I basically was at one point in my career. With these jobs you have to learn on the fly. You have to learn from mistakes and strive to correct them and make sure they don't happen again. There was no person that took her under their wing and said "let me teach you a thing or two about being a News Director"....at least to my knowledge there wasn't because I didn't see it. For me I was fortunate, my former boss Tom Crist used to share knowledge with me from time to time and I'm a better person for it. All I can say is you can't judge a person when they are just starting a position....being a manager is not something that you instantly get over a month, a couple of months, or even a year. It is a position that you learn from everyday and you grow with the position as your employees under you grow with you.
Next up they take shots at our anchors... Dana & Kim Wagner, Sue Manteris and Jim Snyder. They say the anchors are boring or they don't like them. Well you know it's one thing to say they're boring but it's another thing to say they don't know what they're talking about. Guess what no one can say that. Their job is to present the NEWS to you....it's not to ENTERTAIN! If they do entertain you it's because they're going the extra mile to do that. Just like your job is probably to flip the burger, or take the french fries out of the friar... It's not to feed the food to the people. If you are going to be an idiot and feel the need to comment on the way our anchors look or the fact that they don't entertain you, then do us all a favor and change the channel to VH1 and watch Rock of Love Bus or maybe put it on E! and watch the Kardashians or Girls Next Door.... Those shows are more your speed.
Now finally one last person people just absolutely feel the need to comment on is Tiffany DeLeon our newest reporter. People have just felt the need to comment on everything and anything about her and that really is a shame. This is someone who has basically just started out in the business and she's learning her job the hard by actually doing it in front of a Top 50 market audience. I am someone who started out in a small market so at least our small town was more receptive of new people starting out and understanding that they all start out rough but eventually they develop into something very special. Right now Tiffany is just starting out and she is extremely gifted and has a lot of potential. That's why she was hired... There might have been other people with more experience but sometimes you have to look at the person that actually wants to be there the most and the person who wants to succeed. She is that kind of person and you give her a year or two and she most likely will be one of the best reporters there is. She is a better person than I am because she actually tolerates all of those idiots who make idiotic comments and judge her off of only a month or two of full-time reporting. It's too bad they will never know how absolutely nice she is and how approachable she is as well. She is one of those people who will talk to anyone and it's an honor and a pleasure to be able to call her a friend.
Now to all these people judging my co-workers and friends I can understand that you are probably just jealous of them and the fact that they are actually attractive enough to be on TV. I'm sure if you had the testicular fortitude you would go out on the street with someone video taping you and see if you can handle it when people come up to you and say how much they think you suck. Of course since you are such cool people then I'm sure you would have no problem telling us where you work so that we can all come in and stop by and tell you what we think about your job performance. Especially when we ordered the burger without cheese and you still managed to fail to get that through your neanderthal brain.
So the next time that you feel the need to make comments about the way someone on TV looks or their reporting skills, maybe you should send us a picture, an e-mail address and let us know where you work. That way we can come and insult the way you look, the fact that you do your job substandard to us and we can just tear into you like a shark into its prey. At least if you had the guts to do that then we would at least respect your opinions and not just take you for a complete moron who doesn't understand us unless we speak monosyllabically to you.
Of course that's just my opinion and this has been my rant.....
My rant this time as the title says is about the public's need to comment on anchors and reporters and generally it's to say not so flattering things about them.
Now while I respect anyone's right to say whatever is on their mind, I do believe that people should think before they speak. This includes that people should think before they write... Words are very powerful and if thrown around callously, they can be very destructive.
One of the people that has been receiving a lot of comments lately is one of my co-workers Alicia Jacobs. For those of you who do not know Alicia is a former Miss Nevada USA and Miss United States. She is also the entertainment reporter and KVBC.
Recently while out shooting interviews she came across Holly Madison of Girls Next Door fame. Well I don't know the real story because I wasn't there. But by the sounds of it Holly made a comment about Alicia's attire... Alicia at some point made a comment on her twitter that she felt it wasn't very nice. She also stated that Holly Madison was not a good interview.
Well now this has blown up into a local so called "Cat-Fight".... Well this has lead people to make their comments about the situation either positive or negative. Alicia does have her supporters and I will honestly say that I am one of them.
Alicia has always been a very nice person to me. She has a great ability to socialize with anyone and make you feel extremely comfortable. She is very intelligent so I will trust her when she says someone is not a great interview. I have seen these types of interviews before, the ones when asked an intricate question or even a simple one respond with a one word answer. It's similar to if you are on a date with someone and you can't get more than a one word response from them. It is extremely painful and boring.
So if Alicia says she was a bad interview, and having been a person that has occasionally come across Girls Next Door I will definitely say those girls aren't playing with a full deck of cards. Also for the record since Alicia was formerly a pageant contestant she's dealt with a lot worse than this Holly Madison girl can even think about dishing out. Cut your losses Holly, go back to the old men... They are the only ones that find you charming.
Moving on....
Norm's column (Norm! Vegas Confidential) recently featured some news about the station I work for about our Noon show going to a half an hour program. Well some people took this as an opportunity to take shots at some of my co-workers/friends...
First off they are taking shots at our News Director Deborah Clayton. While I can say I don't work underneath the News Director I will say that she has just started her position. She has not been a News Director before and there is no training manual for how to be a good News Director. Just like I know there is no training manual on how to be a good Production Manager, which I basically was at one point in my career. With these jobs you have to learn on the fly. You have to learn from mistakes and strive to correct them and make sure they don't happen again. There was no person that took her under their wing and said "let me teach you a thing or two about being a News Director"....at least to my knowledge there wasn't because I didn't see it. For me I was fortunate, my former boss Tom Crist used to share knowledge with me from time to time and I'm a better person for it. All I can say is you can't judge a person when they are just starting a position....being a manager is not something that you instantly get over a month, a couple of months, or even a year. It is a position that you learn from everyday and you grow with the position as your employees under you grow with you.
Next up they take shots at our anchors... Dana & Kim Wagner, Sue Manteris and Jim Snyder. They say the anchors are boring or they don't like them. Well you know it's one thing to say they're boring but it's another thing to say they don't know what they're talking about. Guess what no one can say that. Their job is to present the NEWS to you....it's not to ENTERTAIN! If they do entertain you it's because they're going the extra mile to do that. Just like your job is probably to flip the burger, or take the french fries out of the friar... It's not to feed the food to the people. If you are going to be an idiot and feel the need to comment on the way our anchors look or the fact that they don't entertain you, then do us all a favor and change the channel to VH1 and watch Rock of Love Bus or maybe put it on E! and watch the Kardashians or Girls Next Door.... Those shows are more your speed.
Now finally one last person people just absolutely feel the need to comment on is Tiffany DeLeon our newest reporter. People have just felt the need to comment on everything and anything about her and that really is a shame. This is someone who has basically just started out in the business and she's learning her job the hard by actually doing it in front of a Top 50 market audience. I am someone who started out in a small market so at least our small town was more receptive of new people starting out and understanding that they all start out rough but eventually they develop into something very special. Right now Tiffany is just starting out and she is extremely gifted and has a lot of potential. That's why she was hired... There might have been other people with more experience but sometimes you have to look at the person that actually wants to be there the most and the person who wants to succeed. She is that kind of person and you give her a year or two and she most likely will be one of the best reporters there is. She is a better person than I am because she actually tolerates all of those idiots who make idiotic comments and judge her off of only a month or two of full-time reporting. It's too bad they will never know how absolutely nice she is and how approachable she is as well. She is one of those people who will talk to anyone and it's an honor and a pleasure to be able to call her a friend.
Now to all these people judging my co-workers and friends I can understand that you are probably just jealous of them and the fact that they are actually attractive enough to be on TV. I'm sure if you had the testicular fortitude you would go out on the street with someone video taping you and see if you can handle it when people come up to you and say how much they think you suck. Of course since you are such cool people then I'm sure you would have no problem telling us where you work so that we can all come in and stop by and tell you what we think about your job performance. Especially when we ordered the burger without cheese and you still managed to fail to get that through your neanderthal brain.
So the next time that you feel the need to make comments about the way someone on TV looks or their reporting skills, maybe you should send us a picture, an e-mail address and let us know where you work. That way we can come and insult the way you look, the fact that you do your job substandard to us and we can just tear into you like a shark into its prey. At least if you had the guts to do that then we would at least respect your opinions and not just take you for a complete moron who doesn't understand us unless we speak monosyllabically to you.
Of course that's just my opinion and this has been my rant.....
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Week that is to be....
Tonight is one of my reflective nights. I am moving in a new direction from the one that I have traveled most of my life. That is a good thing. While I realize that there are always going to be some core elements of myself I can never change, nor would I want to. There are definitely somethings that I have the power to change. So tonight I was just reflecting in my mind on the things that have been said or the people that have come into my life that have stayed with me and moved my life into the direction it has....
They say that words are more powerful than actions...
Some of the words have stuck with me for a lifetime, some of the words that I once deemed hurtful I have now turned into motivational ones....
"Look at Shawn he's starting to get quite a gut"
"Uncle Shawn, you've got a fat belly!"
"It doesn't matter what you eat as long as you work it off."
"You really should do something about that stomach it's not healthy."
Those are some of the lines I think about everytime I go and workout or debate whether I should or not. Of course I have said much more hurtful things to myself than anyone else could. I also am using those poor reflections on myself to finally try and enact change.
I have done something in the past couple of months that I never dreamed I would actually do. That is I have lost weight. This is my own personal success. I have not had any help from a trainer or a dietician or any of that.
I have dug deeper in myself to find a part of me that has been hiding away. It is funny, I thought for the longest time that my body was just a vessel to carry around my soul and my big heart. Then I finally started to realize that only a select few were seeing the greatness of my soul and they definitely weren't seeing how big my heart was because my gut was much bigger!
So I started out with a goal of losing 30 pounds in a 100 days, leading up to the marriage of my co-worker/friend Nicole and her fiance Jacob. Well I will openly admit....I have FAILED.... I will not reach the goal by the time Thursday rolls around.
I had my trials and tribulations with losing the weight... Sometimes it was lack of motivation, sometimes it was procrastination, sometimes it was an injury, sometimes it was illness, sometimes there just wasn't an excuse at all. But through all of this I started to find the time to do it, the reasons to do it...the motivation to do it.
As of this past Friday I had lost 10 pounds. I don't think I have ever lost 10 pounds in my life. I don't know what the final tally will be by Thursday but I'm just hoping to keep the poundage going down. My ultimate goal is to lose all the extra weight by the end of the year... Now if I can actually lose it all earlier that would be really awesome!
I feel better now than I have felt in a long time. I used to heavily depend on others to make me happy. I did not think much of myself and would always notice how great everyone else was and their potential for greatness but never saw those qualities in myself. I am realizing more and more that I can create my own happyness by my own accomplishments. Trust me I still love it when someone else does something nice for me or a moment comes up that will be remembered and treasured forever.
This is the week of the wedding and I will be a groomsmen. I'm just hoping I can represent myself well and give my role the justice it deserves. Thursday is going to be one of those moments that will be remembered and treasured forever.... This will be one of those moments that define a lifetime.... I'm just going to make sure I'm at the best that I can be to truly enjoy every second of it!
Thanks to all who have come into my life..... and for those fortunate enough to still be a part of it just wait you're going to see Shawn finally reach his true potential!
They say that words are more powerful than actions...
Some of the words have stuck with me for a lifetime, some of the words that I once deemed hurtful I have now turned into motivational ones....
"Look at Shawn he's starting to get quite a gut"
"Uncle Shawn, you've got a fat belly!"
"It doesn't matter what you eat as long as you work it off."
"You really should do something about that stomach it's not healthy."
Those are some of the lines I think about everytime I go and workout or debate whether I should or not. Of course I have said much more hurtful things to myself than anyone else could. I also am using those poor reflections on myself to finally try and enact change.
I have done something in the past couple of months that I never dreamed I would actually do. That is I have lost weight. This is my own personal success. I have not had any help from a trainer or a dietician or any of that.
I have dug deeper in myself to find a part of me that has been hiding away. It is funny, I thought for the longest time that my body was just a vessel to carry around my soul and my big heart. Then I finally started to realize that only a select few were seeing the greatness of my soul and they definitely weren't seeing how big my heart was because my gut was much bigger!
So I started out with a goal of losing 30 pounds in a 100 days, leading up to the marriage of my co-worker/friend Nicole and her fiance Jacob. Well I will openly admit....I have FAILED.... I will not reach the goal by the time Thursday rolls around.
I had my trials and tribulations with losing the weight... Sometimes it was lack of motivation, sometimes it was procrastination, sometimes it was an injury, sometimes it was illness, sometimes there just wasn't an excuse at all. But through all of this I started to find the time to do it, the reasons to do it...the motivation to do it.
As of this past Friday I had lost 10 pounds. I don't think I have ever lost 10 pounds in my life. I don't know what the final tally will be by Thursday but I'm just hoping to keep the poundage going down. My ultimate goal is to lose all the extra weight by the end of the year... Now if I can actually lose it all earlier that would be really awesome!
I feel better now than I have felt in a long time. I used to heavily depend on others to make me happy. I did not think much of myself and would always notice how great everyone else was and their potential for greatness but never saw those qualities in myself. I am realizing more and more that I can create my own happyness by my own accomplishments. Trust me I still love it when someone else does something nice for me or a moment comes up that will be remembered and treasured forever.
This is the week of the wedding and I will be a groomsmen. I'm just hoping I can represent myself well and give my role the justice it deserves. Thursday is going to be one of those moments that will be remembered and treasured forever.... This will be one of those moments that define a lifetime.... I'm just going to make sure I'm at the best that I can be to truly enjoy every second of it!
Thanks to all who have come into my life..... and for those fortunate enough to still be a part of it just wait you're going to see Shawn finally reach his true potential!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Survivor: The News Industry
After doing a little reflecting tonight I came to the thought that the News Industry at least from what I have experienced of it in my 12 years in the business is really like the reality game called Survivor.
You start off by joining a tv station and there's a pretty good chance that you no nobody there. Sometimes you are lucky and know one person or two but for the most part you don't. You start off your time at your new station trying to get a feel for everyone and figuring out who you should make an alliance with. Sometimes at your station this first alliance that you are in can make you or break you. This alliance might be the one that carries you through for the rest of your time at your station or it might break up leaving you to once again be a person trying to find his place on the island.
In any tv station you have your leaders. They are the ones that dictate the daily events that will take place. You have your hunters, these are the ones that go after that new client or that new story. You have your gatherers, these folks are the ones that try to make sure the station has everything it needs to keep functioning.
Random challenges can act as your reward challenges. If you are successful in completing your task or beating your rivals you receive accolades usually in the form of higher ratings, maybe even awards. Sometimes though if you lose a couple of times too many your own team starts to implode. People start plotting about who to vote off the island. Who's time has come up for their torch to be extinguished.
This is where your alliance is so important. If you made an alliance with the stronger/smarter people then you might just survive the news industry. Sometimes you have to turn on a weaker alliance in order to better your own situation. You suffer the consequences and your old alliance no longer speaks to you, secretly plots against your or just acts as if you are dead to them.
In the end though how you play the game of working in the News Industry is up to you. At the end of the day and the end of your career you have to look yourself in the mirror. Did the decisions you make work out for the best? Are you proud of what you have done? Would you do it all over again?
For me I'm still on the island. I am enjoying my time there and I don't know if I really have Outwitted, Outlasted or Outplayed the competition. In the end even though I have made my fair share of mistakes in the game I have definitely made a lot of great alliances and can look back fondly on all of my time that I have spent in TV so far. Despite the ups and downs I will continue to play the game...
Not every decision I made was for the best. I learned from those times... sometimes it took the mistake happening more than once but eventually I learned. I'm not necessarily proud of what I have done especially early in my career. I have to say though that youth definitely was a factor. With age has come wisdom. As for if I had the chance would I do it all over again? Well if I hadn't done everything that I had done even the bad things who knows if I would have ended up here? So yes there are some things I would have loved to change but overall I'm happy to be where I'm at.
There are some really great people in the TV industry, sometimes you really just have to dig deeper in order to find the really good ones. Sometimes they are diamonds in the rough like myself...it takes a little time and a little work to see us shine.
Sometimes you just have to get people off the island and when they're not playing the game anymore you see that they are really great people. You will always share a bond whether you are still on the island or if you have left and got back to the mainland.... That bond is you were crazy and brave enough to play the game called TV Industry Survivor.... and if you are reading this and you work in TV or worked in TV then you truly are a Survivor. That is something that no one can take away from you!
(Now if this blog truly made no sense to you, then I really do understand and sympathize! There is some hidden comments in here that some might figure out and others might not.... I guess that's why I call the blog "Indirectly to the Point!")
You start off by joining a tv station and there's a pretty good chance that you no nobody there. Sometimes you are lucky and know one person or two but for the most part you don't. You start off your time at your new station trying to get a feel for everyone and figuring out who you should make an alliance with. Sometimes at your station this first alliance that you are in can make you or break you. This alliance might be the one that carries you through for the rest of your time at your station or it might break up leaving you to once again be a person trying to find his place on the island.
In any tv station you have your leaders. They are the ones that dictate the daily events that will take place. You have your hunters, these are the ones that go after that new client or that new story. You have your gatherers, these folks are the ones that try to make sure the station has everything it needs to keep functioning.
Random challenges can act as your reward challenges. If you are successful in completing your task or beating your rivals you receive accolades usually in the form of higher ratings, maybe even awards. Sometimes though if you lose a couple of times too many your own team starts to implode. People start plotting about who to vote off the island. Who's time has come up for their torch to be extinguished.
This is where your alliance is so important. If you made an alliance with the stronger/smarter people then you might just survive the news industry. Sometimes you have to turn on a weaker alliance in order to better your own situation. You suffer the consequences and your old alliance no longer speaks to you, secretly plots against your or just acts as if you are dead to them.
In the end though how you play the game of working in the News Industry is up to you. At the end of the day and the end of your career you have to look yourself in the mirror. Did the decisions you make work out for the best? Are you proud of what you have done? Would you do it all over again?
For me I'm still on the island. I am enjoying my time there and I don't know if I really have Outwitted, Outlasted or Outplayed the competition. In the end even though I have made my fair share of mistakes in the game I have definitely made a lot of great alliances and can look back fondly on all of my time that I have spent in TV so far. Despite the ups and downs I will continue to play the game...
Not every decision I made was for the best. I learned from those times... sometimes it took the mistake happening more than once but eventually I learned. I'm not necessarily proud of what I have done especially early in my career. I have to say though that youth definitely was a factor. With age has come wisdom. As for if I had the chance would I do it all over again? Well if I hadn't done everything that I had done even the bad things who knows if I would have ended up here? So yes there are some things I would have loved to change but overall I'm happy to be where I'm at.
There are some really great people in the TV industry, sometimes you really just have to dig deeper in order to find the really good ones. Sometimes they are diamonds in the rough like myself...it takes a little time and a little work to see us shine.
Sometimes you just have to get people off the island and when they're not playing the game anymore you see that they are really great people. You will always share a bond whether you are still on the island or if you have left and got back to the mainland.... That bond is you were crazy and brave enough to play the game called TV Industry Survivor.... and if you are reading this and you work in TV or worked in TV then you truly are a Survivor. That is something that no one can take away from you!
(Now if this blog truly made no sense to you, then I really do understand and sympathize! There is some hidden comments in here that some might figure out and others might not.... I guess that's why I call the blog "Indirectly to the Point!")
Sunday, March 22, 2009
The Next Chapter: Moving On In Las Vegas
About a week ago I put my status on facebook as "Shawn is moving on..." there were some people that asked about this... What did it mean? Am I really leaving? Do I have a new job someplace?
For me the "is moving on" was referencing the song "I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts. One of the verses is "....I've been trapped in the past for too long, I'm Moving On....." another one is "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces...each one is different but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it. They'll never allow me to change."
As anyone who has followed this blog or my life well knows, I have had my issues. I am the worlds worst gambler, never won anything near what I have lost. I have what doctor's call a little bit of a weight problem. I used to be quite the drinker and the party person but I think about the consequences of losing control and the heavy drinking is no longer appealing. I have loved and lost, sometimes I just would say when it comes to the game of love I'm eternally lost.
It has reached the point in my life where I realize that I'm not the same person that I was even just a year ago. I have goals that I want to achieve and it seems that right now I keep getting dragged back to trying to be the person I once was. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel good.
I feel it's time for me to broaden my horizons. To reach out to those that truly know me best and bring those friends closer to me. There are some friends that I need to just keep at a distance for a while...they are great people but just not right for me at this time. I need to change and I feel like with them around I cannot.
I think I'm also developing a new philosophy for my life at this point. "Living for the moments"....
That philosophy is when you are at an event or doing something with the people that matter the most to you and everything just seems to be going right. Things may have had there up and down swings leading up to the moment, but when you have finally reached the "moment". You realize that everything is perfect. I have recently experienced one of those "perfect moments" and I was so ecstatic it was the greatest feeling I have had in a long time.
So I'm going to start working harder to make sure I have more of those moments or at least give myself a chance to have more opportunities at having another one. Nothing can happen when you keep your trueself locked up and hidden away in a nice sized one bedroom apartment. Life is what's happening outside your door and you're missing out on it.
"I'm moving on....at last I can see. Life has been patienting waiting for me. And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone. There comes a time in everyone's life. When all you can see are the years passing by. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone."
For me the "is moving on" was referencing the song "I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts. One of the verses is "....I've been trapped in the past for too long, I'm Moving On....." another one is "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces...each one is different but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it. They'll never allow me to change."
As anyone who has followed this blog or my life well knows, I have had my issues. I am the worlds worst gambler, never won anything near what I have lost. I have what doctor's call a little bit of a weight problem. I used to be quite the drinker and the party person but I think about the consequences of losing control and the heavy drinking is no longer appealing. I have loved and lost, sometimes I just would say when it comes to the game of love I'm eternally lost.
It has reached the point in my life where I realize that I'm not the same person that I was even just a year ago. I have goals that I want to achieve and it seems that right now I keep getting dragged back to trying to be the person I once was. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel good.
I feel it's time for me to broaden my horizons. To reach out to those that truly know me best and bring those friends closer to me. There are some friends that I need to just keep at a distance for a while...they are great people but just not right for me at this time. I need to change and I feel like with them around I cannot.
I think I'm also developing a new philosophy for my life at this point. "Living for the moments"....
That philosophy is when you are at an event or doing something with the people that matter the most to you and everything just seems to be going right. Things may have had there up and down swings leading up to the moment, but when you have finally reached the "moment". You realize that everything is perfect. I have recently experienced one of those "perfect moments" and I was so ecstatic it was the greatest feeling I have had in a long time.
So I'm going to start working harder to make sure I have more of those moments or at least give myself a chance to have more opportunities at having another one. Nothing can happen when you keep your trueself locked up and hidden away in a nice sized one bedroom apartment. Life is what's happening outside your door and you're missing out on it.
"I'm moving on....at last I can see. Life has been patienting waiting for me. And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone. There comes a time in everyone's life. When all you can see are the years passing by. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone."
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Constants of Partying In Vegas
This weekend I started questioning whether I was simply getting too old for this or what was the deal. The thought comes from the fact that I have become quite understanding of several things that seem to happen everytime we go out drinking in Vegas. So I have made a list of them just for the fun of it and I'm also curious if others would agree that these things are typical happenings when going out in Vegas or other drinking establishments of the world.
So here is my list of the constants when going out in Las Vegas.
A. Someone drinks too much and makes some extremely awkward conversation.
B. The group tab is always bad because people always end up stiffing on the tab.
C. Following up with B. some poor sucker such as myself ends up paying more than they should have had to to cover the tab.
D. Vegas clubs are over priced, over crowded and not really that fun.
E. There is always some macho guy with too much testosterone flowing that wants to start a fight.
F. Some dude always gets too grabby with random females.
G. You can never have a conversation with anyone because the music is too loud.
H. You know you're not cool enough when you have never heard the song playing but everyone else knows all the words.
I. The more the drink costs is directly proportional to how much smaller the drink is than a normal out of the way bar.
J. There is always one creepy old guy who seems to be really out of his element in a mostly younger crowd looking to accidently rub up against someone.
K. The person taking all the pictures doesn't realize how annoying the constant picture flashing is to everyone else until they are not the one taking the pictures!
L. At the end of the night your ears will be ringing so loudly that you probably couldn't hear the smoke detector going off if it was.
M. The person that you hoped to avoid will always find a way of showing up to the gathering.
N. When said person shows up there is never any waiting staff around for you to get another drink quickly.
O. You or one of your friends will always have to apologize for another friend by saying they just drank too much they're not normally like this.
P. There is always some random guy in the bathroom who is a little too chummy.
Q. Girls are never back from the bathroom in less than 10 minutes!
R. When you are in that bathroom you notice that the bathroom attendant has made more money in one night handing out towels than you have made in a whole week of normal work.
S. You never realize how little sleep you are going to get until you have to wake up really early the next morning.
T. Texting random people when drunk always seems like a great idea until the next day when you have to apologize for it.
U. Someone always disappears from the group without anyone noticing until an hour later.
W. A bottle of water generally costs more then a domestic bottle of beer.
X. Each time you go out there will always be something that happens that you could have never seen happening in a million years.
Y. Why did I stay out this late is one of the many questions you ask yourself in the morning.
Y. You know it's bad when there's a line to get out of the place.
Z. The next day you look at all of your receipts and your account balance and wonder was this all seriously worth it?
Well that's my A-Z list of the Constants that happen while going out... I'm sure there are more but I figured 26 would be good enough for now. There are definitely some things on the list that I'm guilty of but I'm just starting to think that I have seen these constants one too many times any maybe my going out days are coming to an end...
So here is my list of the constants when going out in Las Vegas.
A. Someone drinks too much and makes some extremely awkward conversation.
B. The group tab is always bad because people always end up stiffing on the tab.
C. Following up with B. some poor sucker such as myself ends up paying more than they should have had to to cover the tab.
D. Vegas clubs are over priced, over crowded and not really that fun.
E. There is always some macho guy with too much testosterone flowing that wants to start a fight.
F. Some dude always gets too grabby with random females.
G. You can never have a conversation with anyone because the music is too loud.
H. You know you're not cool enough when you have never heard the song playing but everyone else knows all the words.
I. The more the drink costs is directly proportional to how much smaller the drink is than a normal out of the way bar.
J. There is always one creepy old guy who seems to be really out of his element in a mostly younger crowd looking to accidently rub up against someone.
K. The person taking all the pictures doesn't realize how annoying the constant picture flashing is to everyone else until they are not the one taking the pictures!
L. At the end of the night your ears will be ringing so loudly that you probably couldn't hear the smoke detector going off if it was.
M. The person that you hoped to avoid will always find a way of showing up to the gathering.
N. When said person shows up there is never any waiting staff around for you to get another drink quickly.
O. You or one of your friends will always have to apologize for another friend by saying they just drank too much they're not normally like this.
P. There is always some random guy in the bathroom who is a little too chummy.
Q. Girls are never back from the bathroom in less than 10 minutes!
R. When you are in that bathroom you notice that the bathroom attendant has made more money in one night handing out towels than you have made in a whole week of normal work.
S. You never realize how little sleep you are going to get until you have to wake up really early the next morning.
T. Texting random people when drunk always seems like a great idea until the next day when you have to apologize for it.
U. Someone always disappears from the group without anyone noticing until an hour later.
W. A bottle of water generally costs more then a domestic bottle of beer.
X. Each time you go out there will always be something that happens that you could have never seen happening in a million years.
Y. Why did I stay out this late is one of the many questions you ask yourself in the morning.
Y. You know it's bad when there's a line to get out of the place.
Z. The next day you look at all of your receipts and your account balance and wonder was this all seriously worth it?
Well that's my A-Z list of the Constants that happen while going out... I'm sure there are more but I figured 26 would be good enough for now. There are definitely some things on the list that I'm guilty of but I'm just starting to think that I have seen these constants one too many times any maybe my going out days are coming to an end...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Too much time to think...
This week has been a week of battling with my health. I have had a nagging cold that has been annoying me. I'm a horrible person when it comes to being sick because I hate being unable to do whatever I want when I want. I was going to go out to lunch today but had to cancel due to barely feeling able to function. Sunday morning is softball practice. I think I'm not going to make that either.
The only problem with laying around at home trying to recover, it leaves me with way too much time to sit and think. I have been doing my share of watching television...as I think of it.... I'm just trying to clear some space up on the DVR, although then I keep recording more stuff.
One of the shows I watched today was Michael Moore's Sicko. I have watched Michael Moore documentary's before and I always enjoy them. It's simply amazing how screwed up the system can be sometimes. I have been fortunate and not had to rely on the health system for anything more than a broken leg and having to go into get checked out for an upper respiratory infection. God forbid anything serious ever happens because the way our system is setup in the United States you will have to worry more about being in debt the rest of your life rather than actually worrying about getting better. Canada, England, France & even Cuba have Universal Healthcare. Why don't we? The answer seems to be that the healthcare industry buys off all the politicians then they pass laws to benefit them. It is so frustrating how corrupt the system is. I think this is the reason that I don't vote. It doesn't matter who you put in there because no matter what nothing ever changes.
Another movie I watched tonight was The Visitor. This movie was a surprise one for me, I had never heard anything about it. I happened to be going through the on-demand selection and saw the title and thought it might some alien sci-fi number so I figured I would check out the preview. The movie ended up being about this teacher who went to his apartment in New York after being away for several years and finding a couple living there. They turn out to be illegal immigrants and as a result of the teacher finding them and spending time with them eventually one is arrested and detained. You can't help but feel for someone that has come to the United States and has obeyed all of our laws and this is all they know before they get deported back to their former country. You have to especially wonder why they didn't go to a country with better healthcare!
Since I'm finding myself on a bit of a rant about things in life right now, what's the deal with this Chris Brown vs. Rihanna thing? I was raised to know and understand that you never raise your hand to a woman no matter what. Now I've watched a couple movies where the woman was beating the crap out of a guy and that might be reason to defend yourself. Seriously though has anyone seen the size of Rihanna, I don't think she could hurt much of anything. I guess I never will understand why women stay with the guys that beat on them. Of course I will never understand how so many good men in the world including myself are single and girls would rather walk all over us and take advantage of us before heading off to be with one of these pinheads.
Ha ha I'm laughing to myself because I'm thinking about how bitter and angry this blog is sounding and how I was told that I should not be so bitter and angry about the world. I don't know that I would classify myself as angry and bitter. I actually think of myself as a pretty happy person. I just want to understand why the world is the way it is. Especially when things just don't make a damn bit of sense to me.
Maybe it's just me, maybe I just have too much time to think. Just wait though, in a couple of days when I'm feeling good again then I'm going to start taking some action. I've sat back for too long and I'm ready to take my life into my own hands.
I'm finally giving myself permission to let people dislike me, I'm giving myself permission to give up on some people. I'm going to put more effort into the friends that actually show friend like qualities to me and less time to the spoiled little brats who walk around with their stuck up attitudes hoping everyone will notice them because of their attractiveness and ability to charm people to doing whatever they want. It doesn't work on me anymore and I'm going to show you what you missed out on.
I'm a very generous, thoughtful and passionate person. Those who have gotten to truly know me, they know this about me. For those that haven't just sit back and watch because "you ain't seen nothing yet".....
This is my story and I will tell you how this story is going to go.... Oh and I would summarize this all up by saying... I'm not angry and bitter, just very passionate about knowing what I want and knowing that it's time to move on....
Keep moving forward!
The only problem with laying around at home trying to recover, it leaves me with way too much time to sit and think. I have been doing my share of watching television...as I think of it.... I'm just trying to clear some space up on the DVR, although then I keep recording more stuff.
One of the shows I watched today was Michael Moore's Sicko. I have watched Michael Moore documentary's before and I always enjoy them. It's simply amazing how screwed up the system can be sometimes. I have been fortunate and not had to rely on the health system for anything more than a broken leg and having to go into get checked out for an upper respiratory infection. God forbid anything serious ever happens because the way our system is setup in the United States you will have to worry more about being in debt the rest of your life rather than actually worrying about getting better. Canada, England, France & even Cuba have Universal Healthcare. Why don't we? The answer seems to be that the healthcare industry buys off all the politicians then they pass laws to benefit them. It is so frustrating how corrupt the system is. I think this is the reason that I don't vote. It doesn't matter who you put in there because no matter what nothing ever changes.
Another movie I watched tonight was The Visitor. This movie was a surprise one for me, I had never heard anything about it. I happened to be going through the on-demand selection and saw the title and thought it might some alien sci-fi number so I figured I would check out the preview. The movie ended up being about this teacher who went to his apartment in New York after being away for several years and finding a couple living there. They turn out to be illegal immigrants and as a result of the teacher finding them and spending time with them eventually one is arrested and detained. You can't help but feel for someone that has come to the United States and has obeyed all of our laws and this is all they know before they get deported back to their former country. You have to especially wonder why they didn't go to a country with better healthcare!
Since I'm finding myself on a bit of a rant about things in life right now, what's the deal with this Chris Brown vs. Rihanna thing? I was raised to know and understand that you never raise your hand to a woman no matter what. Now I've watched a couple movies where the woman was beating the crap out of a guy and that might be reason to defend yourself. Seriously though has anyone seen the size of Rihanna, I don't think she could hurt much of anything. I guess I never will understand why women stay with the guys that beat on them. Of course I will never understand how so many good men in the world including myself are single and girls would rather walk all over us and take advantage of us before heading off to be with one of these pinheads.
Ha ha I'm laughing to myself because I'm thinking about how bitter and angry this blog is sounding and how I was told that I should not be so bitter and angry about the world. I don't know that I would classify myself as angry and bitter. I actually think of myself as a pretty happy person. I just want to understand why the world is the way it is. Especially when things just don't make a damn bit of sense to me.
Maybe it's just me, maybe I just have too much time to think. Just wait though, in a couple of days when I'm feeling good again then I'm going to start taking some action. I've sat back for too long and I'm ready to take my life into my own hands.
I'm finally giving myself permission to let people dislike me, I'm giving myself permission to give up on some people. I'm going to put more effort into the friends that actually show friend like qualities to me and less time to the spoiled little brats who walk around with their stuck up attitudes hoping everyone will notice them because of their attractiveness and ability to charm people to doing whatever they want. It doesn't work on me anymore and I'm going to show you what you missed out on.
I'm a very generous, thoughtful and passionate person. Those who have gotten to truly know me, they know this about me. For those that haven't just sit back and watch because "you ain't seen nothing yet".....
This is my story and I will tell you how this story is going to go.... Oh and I would summarize this all up by saying... I'm not angry and bitter, just very passionate about knowing what I want and knowing that it's time to move on....
Keep moving forward!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Falling off the wagon
So it's been a while since I've blogged and right now it's looking like I'm not going to reach my goal. I don't like being negative but last night I did feel the negative thoughts coming on.
I think part of it was the fact that this weekend, feeling that I needed to go out and get out of the apartment I unfortunately went out and started taking in alcohol again. I am so one of those people that I have to fall hard sometimes before I realize that I really need to stop making those decisions.
So I have about 60 days to go on my goal. I don't think I'm going to hit the 30 lbs but I think I may have refound my inspiration.
Lets start by saying I watched and practiced a little bit with the Channel 3 softball team on Sunday morning. I think we are just going to have one team and with that said I think I will not be playing. This team is awesome and for someone who is not playing at the high caliber that all of them are playing leads me to believe that I will just keep the books and enjoy my time on the bench.
With this said this will not deter me from doing what I can to get into shape. The inspiration I found today was going online on Facebook and looking at the pictures of the people from my high school class. Amazingly I saw a picture of one of the star athletes from high school who looks bigger and heavier than I am. I also saw many of the girls, most of which are now, married who look nothing like what they used to. They've put on a lot of weight although its hard to tell some of them could have just had a kid.
I realized that for me when people see me and say you haven't changed a bit that isn't a bad thing. I also today woke up a bit early and was watching the today show. I saw a man who lost 136 lbs in a year and a half. He was only 19 but if he can do it then I believe I can.
I may not play softball regularly this year but I'm going to continue to get into shape and if there is ever a time that I'm desperately needed on the team then I will promote myself from the minors otherwise this year I'm going to be a fan. I'm not quitting the team, I'm just going to do what's best for the team and allow the best players to do what they do best. WIN!
Meanwhile I'm going to start setting myself up to do the best that I can and also to work up more situations where I can see my self succeeding and not put myself in situations that I know I will fail. I can be better, I can do better.... I will be better!
I think part of it was the fact that this weekend, feeling that I needed to go out and get out of the apartment I unfortunately went out and started taking in alcohol again. I am so one of those people that I have to fall hard sometimes before I realize that I really need to stop making those decisions.
So I have about 60 days to go on my goal. I don't think I'm going to hit the 30 lbs but I think I may have refound my inspiration.
Lets start by saying I watched and practiced a little bit with the Channel 3 softball team on Sunday morning. I think we are just going to have one team and with that said I think I will not be playing. This team is awesome and for someone who is not playing at the high caliber that all of them are playing leads me to believe that I will just keep the books and enjoy my time on the bench.
With this said this will not deter me from doing what I can to get into shape. The inspiration I found today was going online on Facebook and looking at the pictures of the people from my high school class. Amazingly I saw a picture of one of the star athletes from high school who looks bigger and heavier than I am. I also saw many of the girls, most of which are now, married who look nothing like what they used to. They've put on a lot of weight although its hard to tell some of them could have just had a kid.
I realized that for me when people see me and say you haven't changed a bit that isn't a bad thing. I also today woke up a bit early and was watching the today show. I saw a man who lost 136 lbs in a year and a half. He was only 19 but if he can do it then I believe I can.
I may not play softball regularly this year but I'm going to continue to get into shape and if there is ever a time that I'm desperately needed on the team then I will promote myself from the minors otherwise this year I'm going to be a fan. I'm not quitting the team, I'm just going to do what's best for the team and allow the best players to do what they do best. WIN!
Meanwhile I'm going to start setting myself up to do the best that I can and also to work up more situations where I can see my self succeeding and not put myself in situations that I know I will fail. I can be better, I can do better.... I will be better!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Calling it Quits
This past Thursday I made a trip to Walmart and figured I would call that my workout. Then on Friday I had a bad day at work. I decided on my way home that all I felt like doing was going home and after stopping by the convenience store to pick up some drinks....just sit at home drink and give up on the whole work out thing.
I had truly come to the decision, that maybe things weren't going the way I had wanted them to so why not just call it done. So Saturday morning I woke up and I had got a text from one of my friends telling me about the movie times for a movie we were going to go see.
So I sat around watched some TV ate some breakfast before it was time to go to the movie. I went to the Palms parked on the 3rd floor and took the stairs as I usually do. The difference though this time was that I was speeding down the stairs. I realized when I had got down to the first floor that my mind may have said it was okay with me quitting the whole exercise thing, but my body answered in it's own way that it was not ready to quit. In fact it has just started.
After the movie, I came back home and put on my workout gear and made my way to the apartment gym where I spent about an hour in there doing my thing. It's funny even though I only usually walk maybe to a light jog for a bit, that has been enough for my body to demand that I keep on doing it.
Even last night I was hanging out with some friends and co-workers while they played Rock Band and my legs just were wanting to bounce around and go and do something active. I have found it to be quite interesting.
The other thing I found funny about last night is how big of a deal people make of the fact that I don't drink anymore. People tell me it's a good thing that I don't drink anymore but then they come back 5 minutes later and say "I can't believe you're not drinking anymore!" As I have told them it's a personal choice. I can't control the decisions I make when I drink so I have made the decision not to leave the decision I make in the hands of alcohol.
So I just sit back, drink out of my bottle of water and just enjoy watching the festivities. I never realized that being the sober one can be just as entertaining and sometimes even more fun that being the drunk one. Watching people make comments about each other, spilling drinks on themselves, dropping their stuff and being overly clumsy... That's just good free entertainment.
Well tonight's the last day of my weekend and I will start my work week again on Monday so I look forward to the start of a new week. I have developed a new philosophy or two for my life. One of them is to work harder to show appreciation to the friends I have rather than wishing I was involved with people that I have up until now put up on a pedestal.
I'm putting me, myself and I first, next my true friends and then I will try and make time for the rest of those folks when I feel like it.
I had truly come to the decision, that maybe things weren't going the way I had wanted them to so why not just call it done. So Saturday morning I woke up and I had got a text from one of my friends telling me about the movie times for a movie we were going to go see.
So I sat around watched some TV ate some breakfast before it was time to go to the movie. I went to the Palms parked on the 3rd floor and took the stairs as I usually do. The difference though this time was that I was speeding down the stairs. I realized when I had got down to the first floor that my mind may have said it was okay with me quitting the whole exercise thing, but my body answered in it's own way that it was not ready to quit. In fact it has just started.
After the movie, I came back home and put on my workout gear and made my way to the apartment gym where I spent about an hour in there doing my thing. It's funny even though I only usually walk maybe to a light jog for a bit, that has been enough for my body to demand that I keep on doing it.
Even last night I was hanging out with some friends and co-workers while they played Rock Band and my legs just were wanting to bounce around and go and do something active. I have found it to be quite interesting.
The other thing I found funny about last night is how big of a deal people make of the fact that I don't drink anymore. People tell me it's a good thing that I don't drink anymore but then they come back 5 minutes later and say "I can't believe you're not drinking anymore!" As I have told them it's a personal choice. I can't control the decisions I make when I drink so I have made the decision not to leave the decision I make in the hands of alcohol.
So I just sit back, drink out of my bottle of water and just enjoy watching the festivities. I never realized that being the sober one can be just as entertaining and sometimes even more fun that being the drunk one. Watching people make comments about each other, spilling drinks on themselves, dropping their stuff and being overly clumsy... That's just good free entertainment.
Well tonight's the last day of my weekend and I will start my work week again on Monday so I look forward to the start of a new week. I have developed a new philosophy or two for my life. One of them is to work harder to show appreciation to the friends I have rather than wishing I was involved with people that I have up until now put up on a pedestal.
I'm putting me, myself and I first, next my true friends and then I will try and make time for the rest of those folks when I feel like it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Litigation Nation
Now if this works this will be my first blog written soley on my blackberry phone. If it fails then I will have wasted 5 minutes of my life I may never get back.
So this blog is inspired by the yearly forms we have to fill out saying we will follow the rules, code of conduct, the laws of the nation, the policies, the 10 commandments and whatever else will keep our respective companies from costly lawsuits.
Now I might just be going on a rant here but is it just me or is corporate america starting to get just a bit too paranoid? This coming from the person who wrote a blog about all of my own personal paranoias! I just think when it gets to the point that you can't surf the internet at work without being fearful of losing your job then maybe rules are getting to strict. I understand that if people are visiting pornographic or downloading files they should not then something should happen to them. But for the average joe who is just trying to kill a little time by expanding his mind seeking out knowledge on the internet then where is the harm in that?
It is even getting so bad in this litigation nation that we live in that we cannot even field a privately financed sports team with the company name without it being cleared through the lawyers first! I understand that accidents happen and that yeah if someone gets hit by a ball they are going to sue someone rather than just learning to pay better attention.
I think America has become to dependent on suing someone when an accident happens. I think people need to understand that life happens and if an accident occurs where there is no malicious intent or there is no intent to cause an injury then we need to just suck it up. Now if someone is drunk and gets in a car or isn't paying attention while operating a machine and causes an accident yeah there should be a lawsuit and someone should be held liable!
If you are just out in public and a bird unloads on you...then just suck it up and don't go and try to sue the old lady who feeds the birds. Just realize that sometimes shit happens and move on without taking legal action!
Now just in case there is a question on this... I love my job and I have no problem doing whatever they tell me to do while on their time. I just wish the world was a more understanding place. Times are tough right now and I am very thankful to be working. I hope one day we can all relax again and be the happy productive employees we were before we lived in fear of if we are going to have a job tomorrow.
I also hope that eventually the world learns that people work best when they are allowed to breathe and don't have to worry about a plethora of policies, possible layoffs and threats of litigation. Can't we all just get along?
So this blog is inspired by the yearly forms we have to fill out saying we will follow the rules, code of conduct, the laws of the nation, the policies, the 10 commandments and whatever else will keep our respective companies from costly lawsuits.
Now I might just be going on a rant here but is it just me or is corporate america starting to get just a bit too paranoid? This coming from the person who wrote a blog about all of my own personal paranoias! I just think when it gets to the point that you can't surf the internet at work without being fearful of losing your job then maybe rules are getting to strict. I understand that if people are visiting pornographic or downloading files they should not then something should happen to them. But for the average joe who is just trying to kill a little time by expanding his mind seeking out knowledge on the internet then where is the harm in that?
It is even getting so bad in this litigation nation that we live in that we cannot even field a privately financed sports team with the company name without it being cleared through the lawyers first! I understand that accidents happen and that yeah if someone gets hit by a ball they are going to sue someone rather than just learning to pay better attention.
I think America has become to dependent on suing someone when an accident happens. I think people need to understand that life happens and if an accident occurs where there is no malicious intent or there is no intent to cause an injury then we need to just suck it up. Now if someone is drunk and gets in a car or isn't paying attention while operating a machine and causes an accident yeah there should be a lawsuit and someone should be held liable!
If you are just out in public and a bird unloads on you...then just suck it up and don't go and try to sue the old lady who feeds the birds. Just realize that sometimes shit happens and move on without taking legal action!
Now just in case there is a question on this... I love my job and I have no problem doing whatever they tell me to do while on their time. I just wish the world was a more understanding place. Times are tough right now and I am very thankful to be working. I hope one day we can all relax again and be the happy productive employees we were before we lived in fear of if we are going to have a job tomorrow.
I also hope that eventually the world learns that people work best when they are allowed to breathe and don't have to worry about a plethora of policies, possible layoffs and threats of litigation. Can't we all just get along?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Every Little Bit Counts
So I'm learning quickly now that every little bit counts... Each time I lose a little bit more weight I'm extremely happy. It's good to see pounds coming off rather than going on constantly. I'm starting to make it a routine now that every day after work I go home and I work out. Sometimes it's just 15 minutes sometimes it's 30 minutes. It just depends on the day.
I have found though it's a great way to end my day. There have been a lot of stresses from work lately. Since we have had cutbacks, like most companies I find myself working a little bit harder everyday. This week is actually more relaxing then last week, last week I was pretty much doing double the work. Normally this would have worn me down to the point of burnout, but I think I have to credit the new exercise regimen as helping me through all of this.
Yesterday we had some more layoffs at the station. It was very sad but in the end I'm happy that I'm still fortunate to have a job. I'm very sad for the people that are no longer hear but we all have to understand that we work for businesses and if a business is struggling to stay a float then they have to start throwing things off the ship no matter how valuable until there are better conditions on the horizon.
In other news, we are already preliminarily talking about Softball season coming up. Our first practice is scheduled for the start of February....by then I'm aiming to be 1/3 of the way to my goal or even halfway to my goal if I'm lucky! I love softball so I'm looking forward to getting out and playing!
85 Days to Go, Current Weight: 242.5
23.5 Pounds to go until goal is reached!
I have found though it's a great way to end my day. There have been a lot of stresses from work lately. Since we have had cutbacks, like most companies I find myself working a little bit harder everyday. This week is actually more relaxing then last week, last week I was pretty much doing double the work. Normally this would have worn me down to the point of burnout, but I think I have to credit the new exercise regimen as helping me through all of this.
Yesterday we had some more layoffs at the station. It was very sad but in the end I'm happy that I'm still fortunate to have a job. I'm very sad for the people that are no longer hear but we all have to understand that we work for businesses and if a business is struggling to stay a float then they have to start throwing things off the ship no matter how valuable until there are better conditions on the horizon.
In other news, we are already preliminarily talking about Softball season coming up. Our first practice is scheduled for the start of February....by then I'm aiming to be 1/3 of the way to my goal or even halfway to my goal if I'm lucky! I love softball so I'm looking forward to getting out and playing!
85 Days to Go, Current Weight: 242.5
23.5 Pounds to go until goal is reached!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Biggest Loser Season 7
I am at work right now and as I work I have the TV on in the background, but I have been getting distracted by the latest season of Biggest Loser that is on. This season they have the biggest cast on that has ever been on Biggest Loser.
The first thing the show starts off with is all the groups being told to work out on their own. The most shocking moment comes from Jerry the oldest member of the group who we later find out once he started working out his blood pressure shot down and he ended up passing out in the gym.
I couldn't help but feel for the guy, I honestly feel for everyone of these people because I'm not too far off from being in the same predicament as some of these people.
I was talking with a co-worker today and we were discussing the getting in shape philosophy that I have recently entered into. I was telling her how honestly I am now realizing just how much of a mental game getting in shape is. You have to convince yourself to make the change in your life. If you don't commit to it with your mind, then you're just setting yourself up for failure.
My philosophy lately is kinda like that saying "you've got to get yourself right with god" well with fitness my philisophy is "you've got to get yourself right with Shawn".... I can't make this change in my life primarily for anyone except for myself. I'm the one who will have to deal with the consequences of my failure first and foremost.
I am still committed to my own personnel success. I am motivated and I am determined to get myself into the best shape of my life this year. It's only the 6th day of the new year and already I've made more progress in my personal fitness goals than I have in years.
I definitely relate to the people on the Biggest Loser although I'm not as heavy as most of them I know that I'm in the same boat as them. I was lazy for the first 30 years of my life and if I want to live a successful, healthy next 30 years in my life then I have to make some serious changes and get myself right with Shawn!
92 days to go....current weight: 245.1 pounds
weight left to lose to reach goal: 26.1 pounds
The first thing the show starts off with is all the groups being told to work out on their own. The most shocking moment comes from Jerry the oldest member of the group who we later find out once he started working out his blood pressure shot down and he ended up passing out in the gym.
I couldn't help but feel for the guy, I honestly feel for everyone of these people because I'm not too far off from being in the same predicament as some of these people.
I was talking with a co-worker today and we were discussing the getting in shape philosophy that I have recently entered into. I was telling her how honestly I am now realizing just how much of a mental game getting in shape is. You have to convince yourself to make the change in your life. If you don't commit to it with your mind, then you're just setting yourself up for failure.
My philosophy lately is kinda like that saying "you've got to get yourself right with god" well with fitness my philisophy is "you've got to get yourself right with Shawn".... I can't make this change in my life primarily for anyone except for myself. I'm the one who will have to deal with the consequences of my failure first and foremost.
I am still committed to my own personnel success. I am motivated and I am determined to get myself into the best shape of my life this year. It's only the 6th day of the new year and already I've made more progress in my personal fitness goals than I have in years.
I definitely relate to the people on the Biggest Loser although I'm not as heavy as most of them I know that I'm in the same boat as them. I was lazy for the first 30 years of my life and if I want to live a successful, healthy next 30 years in my life then I have to make some serious changes and get myself right with Shawn!
92 days to go....current weight: 245.1 pounds
weight left to lose to reach goal: 26.1 pounds
Monday, January 5, 2009
A resolution....really?
Today is January 5th and how many people have already broken their New Year's Resolutions or have given up on them for the rest of the year already? Is it just me or is a resolution something that you are supposed to by definition resolve to "definitely come to a decision about"...
I have made the resolution to do several things as you read in my previous blog. Yes I have already had my failures on this but I have also had my successes. I have started off slowly but I have no plans on giving up.
I can already tell that by just doing the little bit that I do on occasions, I'm feeling better. I have more energy, I have more self confidence... I have a goal, I have a plan for my life. If I were to give up on everything I have just begun to start right now I would be a failure. I decided at the end of 2008 that I could no longer give myself permission to fail when it came to bettering myself.
When you start to give yourself permission to fail, you've in fact given yourself permission to be a failure. I am here to succeed and I will succeed. If I fail to reach my goal in the next 95 days then it happens but I won't give up. To make a change that will majorly effect your life then the change must be in fact a lifestyle change.
Today I went and hopped on the scale and with shoes on which I didn't have last time I now weigh in at 246.1 lbs. I did weigh in at 249.0 lbs without shoes. I'm calling it a 3 lbs. loss and I have no plans on stopping now, in fact I have just begun.
I have made the resolution to do several things as you read in my previous blog. Yes I have already had my failures on this but I have also had my successes. I have started off slowly but I have no plans on giving up.
I can already tell that by just doing the little bit that I do on occasions, I'm feeling better. I have more energy, I have more self confidence... I have a goal, I have a plan for my life. If I were to give up on everything I have just begun to start right now I would be a failure. I decided at the end of 2008 that I could no longer give myself permission to fail when it came to bettering myself.
When you start to give yourself permission to fail, you've in fact given yourself permission to be a failure. I am here to succeed and I will succeed. If I fail to reach my goal in the next 95 days then it happens but I won't give up. To make a change that will majorly effect your life then the change must be in fact a lifestyle change.
Today I went and hopped on the scale and with shoes on which I didn't have last time I now weigh in at 246.1 lbs. I did weigh in at 249.0 lbs without shoes. I'm calling it a 3 lbs. loss and I have no plans on stopping now, in fact I have just begun.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Years Resolutions
I think I have constantly been one of those people who has made New Year's Resolutions and then never followed through on them. This year is the first year that I honestly can say I'm going to give it the "old college try"...
I have found my inspiration in weird sources but here are the resolutions for 2009:
1) Lose the 30 LBS. in 100 Days....and then keep it off plus maybe get rid of some more by 2010:
~~I have slowed up a bit recently due to a couple of busy days but I know that this can't be an every day occurence. In order to make changes in life, it requires constant action. I must stride everyday to do what it takes to better my physical health and thus better myself in my own eyes.
2) Find the enthusiasm from my childhood and start being more of an optimist as well as a positive thinking and acting person.
~~I think lately I have stopped being enthusiastic about the world. I've only seen the dark and dreary and I have become darker and more negative of a person as a result. I also know that I have also become a person that has settled for the easier path and just being Vulcan like in turning my emotions off so that I don't have to deal with them. I will strive in 2009 to appreciate the positives in life that much more as well as to share my optimism for life with everyone else. I want to be the kind of person that people are happy to see rather than the person that they go the other way to avoid.
3) Be more of a yes man and an adventurist.
~~I have found myself lately turning down anything different and just staying in my comfort zone. It will be my goal to do something more on my weekends than sit inside watching TV and playing video games. The story of my life can be more interesting if I actually take the leap of doing something different and expanding my horizons.
Well I think those are 3 of my great goals for the New Year. I also want to say that included in number 3 would be to find more opportunities to spend time with the friends that will help make me a better person. I need to develop my relationships into strong friendships rather than just casual acquaintances.
Life ain't always beautiful, but it can be a beautiful life....you just have to make more of an effort.
I have found my inspiration in weird sources but here are the resolutions for 2009:
1) Lose the 30 LBS. in 100 Days....and then keep it off plus maybe get rid of some more by 2010:
~~I have slowed up a bit recently due to a couple of busy days but I know that this can't be an every day occurence. In order to make changes in life, it requires constant action. I must stride everyday to do what it takes to better my physical health and thus better myself in my own eyes.
2) Find the enthusiasm from my childhood and start being more of an optimist as well as a positive thinking and acting person.
~~I think lately I have stopped being enthusiastic about the world. I've only seen the dark and dreary and I have become darker and more negative of a person as a result. I also know that I have also become a person that has settled for the easier path and just being Vulcan like in turning my emotions off so that I don't have to deal with them. I will strive in 2009 to appreciate the positives in life that much more as well as to share my optimism for life with everyone else. I want to be the kind of person that people are happy to see rather than the person that they go the other way to avoid.
3) Be more of a yes man and an adventurist.
~~I have found myself lately turning down anything different and just staying in my comfort zone. It will be my goal to do something more on my weekends than sit inside watching TV and playing video games. The story of my life can be more interesting if I actually take the leap of doing something different and expanding my horizons.
Well I think those are 3 of my great goals for the New Year. I also want to say that included in number 3 would be to find more opportunities to spend time with the friends that will help make me a better person. I need to develop my relationships into strong friendships rather than just casual acquaintances.
Life ain't always beautiful, but it can be a beautiful life....you just have to make more of an effort.
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