About a week ago I put my status on facebook as "Shawn is moving on..." there were some people that asked about this... What did it mean? Am I really leaving? Do I have a new job someplace?
For me the "is moving on" was referencing the song "I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts. One of the verses is "....I've been trapped in the past for too long, I'm Moving On....." another one is "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces...each one is different but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it. They'll never allow me to change."
As anyone who has followed this blog or my life well knows, I have had my issues. I am the worlds worst gambler, never won anything near what I have lost. I have what doctor's call a little bit of a weight problem. I used to be quite the drinker and the party person but I think about the consequences of losing control and the heavy drinking is no longer appealing. I have loved and lost, sometimes I just would say when it comes to the game of love I'm eternally lost.
It has reached the point in my life where I realize that I'm not the same person that I was even just a year ago. I have goals that I want to achieve and it seems that right now I keep getting dragged back to trying to be the person I once was. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel good.
I feel it's time for me to broaden my horizons. To reach out to those that truly know me best and bring those friends closer to me. There are some friends that I need to just keep at a distance for a while...they are great people but just not right for me at this time. I need to change and I feel like with them around I cannot.
I think I'm also developing a new philosophy for my life at this point. "Living for the moments"....
That philosophy is when you are at an event or doing something with the people that matter the most to you and everything just seems to be going right. Things may have had there up and down swings leading up to the moment, but when you have finally reached the "moment". You realize that everything is perfect. I have recently experienced one of those "perfect moments" and I was so ecstatic it was the greatest feeling I have had in a long time.
So I'm going to start working harder to make sure I have more of those moments or at least give myself a chance to have more opportunities at having another one. Nothing can happen when you keep your trueself locked up and hidden away in a nice sized one bedroom apartment. Life is what's happening outside your door and you're missing out on it.
"I'm moving on....at last I can see. Life has been patienting waiting for me. And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone. There comes a time in everyone's life. When all you can see are the years passing by. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone."
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