The Week that is to be....

Tonight is one of my reflective nights. I am moving in a new direction from the one that I have traveled most of my life. That is a good thing. While I realize that there are always going to be some core elements of myself I can never change, nor would I want to. There are definitely somethings that I have the power to change. So tonight I was just reflecting in my mind on the things that have been said or the people that have come into my life that have stayed with me and moved my life into the direction it has....

They say that words are more powerful than actions...

Some of the words have stuck with me for a lifetime, some of the words that I once deemed hurtful I have now turned into motivational ones....

"Look at Shawn he's starting to get quite a gut"
"Uncle Shawn, you've got a fat belly!"
"It doesn't matter what you eat as long as you work it off."
"You really should do something about that stomach it's not healthy."

Those are some of the lines I think about everytime I go and workout or debate whether I should or not. Of course I have said much more hurtful things to myself than anyone else could. I also am using those poor reflections on myself to finally try and enact change.

I have done something in the past couple of months that I never dreamed I would actually do. That is I have lost weight. This is my own personal success. I have not had any help from a trainer or a dietician or any of that.

I have dug deeper in myself to find a part of me that has been hiding away. It is funny, I thought for the longest time that my body was just a vessel to carry around my soul and my big heart. Then I finally started to realize that only a select few were seeing the greatness of my soul and they definitely weren't seeing how big my heart was because my gut was much bigger!

So I started out with a goal of losing 30 pounds in a 100 days, leading up to the marriage of my co-worker/friend Nicole and her fiance Jacob. Well I will openly admit....I have FAILED.... I will not reach the goal by the time Thursday rolls around.

I had my trials and tribulations with losing the weight... Sometimes it was lack of motivation, sometimes it was procrastination, sometimes it was an injury, sometimes it was illness, sometimes there just wasn't an excuse at all. But through all of this I started to find the time to do it, the reasons to do it...the motivation to do it.

As of this past Friday I had lost 10 pounds. I don't think I have ever lost 10 pounds in my life. I don't know what the final tally will be by Thursday but I'm just hoping to keep the poundage going down. My ultimate goal is to lose all the extra weight by the end of the year... Now if I can actually lose it all earlier that would be really awesome!

I feel better now than I have felt in a long time. I used to heavily depend on others to make me happy. I did not think much of myself and would always notice how great everyone else was and their potential for greatness but never saw those qualities in myself. I am realizing more and more that I can create my own happyness by my own accomplishments. Trust me I still love it when someone else does something nice for me or a moment comes up that will be remembered and treasured forever.

This is the week of the wedding and I will be a groomsmen. I'm just hoping I can represent myself well and give my role the justice it deserves. Thursday is going to be one of those moments that will be remembered and treasured forever.... This will be one of those moments that define a lifetime.... I'm just going to make sure I'm at the best that I can be to truly enjoy every second of it!

Thanks to all who have come into my life..... and for those fortunate enough to still be a part of it just wait you're going to see Shawn finally reach his true potential!